PROUDEST MARY Asia’s Dandelion look was spec-fucking-tacular. Campy and fun and beautiful and strange. Who hears ‘Hat Week’ and then turns it out with some Pollination realness? Asia O’Hara does, that’s who.
LAZIEST SUSAN It takes a special kind of self-delusion to throw together a sequinned lounge-suit last minute and then sit there in Untucked, throwing back Absolut and soda, bitching about how she should’ve won the night. But Monique went there. Then she announced how she’d held back in the Maxi Challenge so her teammates could shine. Oooh bitch!
IT AIN’T WHATCHU WEAR! The Vixen’s runway look was just the worst. All sloppy construction and bad proportions and unfinished details. Ugh. I just can’t with this outfit! And you saw her all episode painting that thing in the background like she was Michel-fuckin’-angelo. If Carson was there he would’ve read her to filth.
IT’S HOOOW YOU WEAR IT! Seeing my future ex-husband Bryce Eilenberg - aka Hot Ginger Pit Crew Guy - getting gradually dragged up throughout the episode was equal parts fascinating and delicious. And made me realise once and for all that yeah, he really is straight.
LIVING FOR… The Body panel - Eureka, Monet & Kameron - who won the Maxi Challenge this week. What a fabulous array of drag, in all shapes and sizes. They were prepared, they were camp, they were charming. Sure, the “proportionising” gig wore a little bit thin, but at least they put thought into a buzzword and how important it is to branding. I’m just praying “proportionising” doesn’t become the new hot meme.
SURPRISE SURPRISE! Cracker’s energy was low and her charm waned in the Maxi Challenge, but it was still a shock to see her in the bottom 3. But I gotta say, like a Chi Chi LaRue orgy scene, the tops earned their place this week and the bottoms clearly earned theirs.
BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS That Sitting On A Secret Mini Challenge was hilarious, getting queens to sit on a fax machine and an eggplant and a fucking porkchop. Could this just be a whole show: Blindfolded celebrities sit on top of random items? Latrice could host.
FROSTY TIPS Team Hair – Miz Cracker, Blair & The Vixen – did a pretty bad job. They went and did that thing Ru specifically warned them not to, ie. make it joyous and don’t get too technical. For me it felt as though it was edited it to look much worse than it was. I mean, WHY would Ross and Ru be side-eyeing over some harmless queeny shade like it was the worst thing ever? It wasn’t even that vicious. That said, their group was the least engaging, no question.
Monet on Cracker: The Susan Lucci of season 10…
Monet: Usher is out here givin’ people the drip-drip, you gotta be careful!
Monique: I came to this competition with glitter and Jesus! And bitch I’m makin’ it work. Okay?
(Asia takes an eyelash off) Visage under her breath: C’mon Patti LaBelle!
I swear at one stage during the panel Asia quoted Sally Field from Steel Magnolias without even realizing (“Never be afraid to try a new look…”).
SHADIEST LADY Kumail Nanjiani is so hot, so funny and so clever. If you don’t follow him on Twitter you should do so immediately. And his commentary throughout the runway was hysterical. So much fun to hear a camp straight Indian dude giving runway shade. Werk bitch!
WAIT. WHAT? Blair’s moment was an honest-to-god heartbreaker, especially as she introduced the story with, “I urge to find daintiness because I feel dirty sometimes,” before revealing she’d been the victim of a college party rape. Whoa Nelly! Did anyone else just hear the “dun-dun” from Law & Order: SVU? Jokes aside, it was such a shock and at the same time made perfect sense, in so much as her concealing the pain by trying to make everything around her happy and beautiful. Just as telling was watching The Vixen respond to Blair’s revelation, cos it was like she finally understood Blair a little more too. The whole thing was reiterated in Untucked, and it was fabulous to see Vixen talk up Blair and put her passion and tenacity into something positive. I think I get this bitch a bit more now.
REALLY REAL Monet’s story about not being out to her parents and still lying to them about who she is and what she does was fascinating. She’s so steeped in the drag world, she’s often referred to by the others as one of NY’s funniest queens, she talks and acts and prances like a drag queen. It’d be hard to imagine those close to her not realising. And I wonder, on some level, if it explains why she’s hasn’t quite been ‘next level’ in this competition yet.
YOU’RE A WINNER BABY… So happy to see Monet in the top 3. You could feel the relief dripping off her like sweat and the confidence finally coming back. Can I get a amen up in here?
But of course it was Eureka’s night, getting her second win for this season. And y’know what? – she earned this one even more than last week. I’m just gonna put it out there guys: could this be Eureka’s year?
BYEEEEEEE… The Vixen X Blair St Clair lipsyncing to ‘I’m Coming Out’ by Diana Ross: The Vixen was working hard, but it was still a little basic and unmeasured for my liking. She had a shoe dangling off and that hat dress was all over the place. She did a forward roll like it was Yr 7 gym class and someone actually cheered. FOR A FORWARD ROLL! BUT what she did bring was sass and energy, which Blair sadly didn’t have in her. And where Blair sold it as indignant, The Vixen brought joy, and that’s what ‘I’m Coming Out’ is really all about.
So it was Blair St Clair who sashayed away. Watching Blair leave at the end of Untucked, knowing what he’s endured, with no makeup on his little kid face, was a genuinely heartbreaking moment.
Tony is one of the most prolific pop culture writers on the planet - his unique and humorous take on all things camp, fierce and fabulous leave us wanting more - his debut articles for Guidetogay.com started with Season 10 of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Tony lives in Melbourne Australia and is partial to a ginger-headed man.