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The Modern Sex-pest

I keep hearing from gay men my age (yes, I’m old enough to be referred to as “daddy”) and a lot younger guys about a current plague of guys on line I’m calling the ‘Modern Sex-pest’.
 
Let’s get something straight, there is nothing attractive, flattering or even sexy about contacting someone you don’t know and within the first few lines of communication asking for a cock pic. It’s actually ugly... not the cock pic, the attitude.
 
Like here is an example, a guy messages me on Facebook Messenger (Could be Instagram/ Snapchat/ WhatsApp, any form of social media). Don’t know him, we have no mutual friends, no idea how they even found me when my profile is private. Conversation starts nice enough, “Hello, how are you and good morning”. It’s early so I say “I’m just waking up, how are you?” I get a thumbs up “I’m good thanks. Can I see you wanking?”
 
Wow – that’s forward.
 
I look in his profile and just like that old saying “People who talk the most have the least to say”, these days it seems to be the “People who are the most forward have the least to show”. The profile is limited, only thing on the timeline is shared from other people, not giving anything of himself except a filtered profile pic with “beauty face app” set to FULL.
 
Now, I’m a sexual being and in the past I had no problem sharing pics or vids of myself cause it was fun and exciting, but the key word here is “sharing”, and that’s the difference, there is a change happening where these type of people don’t want to share, instead they talk to you like it’s a job interview, they ask all the questions and reveal nothing about themselves, except maybe to find a few common interests with you and that’s only to gain your trust and think you have a ‘friend’ on line.
 
So you send a photo, and you wait for a return photo, and you wait, and you ask, and they come back with “man, you look so great” or “that’s so big” or something to that nature and they ask for another photo – guess what, that’s your cue for “they aren’t sending anything”. Stop all communication, block them even. They will call you rude and make it seem like they were only having fun and try and weasel their way back in. They are wasting your time and playing with you in a way that’s not going to result in an orgasm.
 
And those apps like Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, they are great, love them, they have a genuine purpose; however they also can allow a certain type of person a platform to manipulate you into meeting with them and they have either used another person’s pics on their profile, or put up a front of being someone they are not. The classic line of “I go to the gym” does not count if you are only walking past it on your way to Hungry Jacks.
 
If you decide to meet up with someone, and I’ve had to say this to my niece so it’s not just a gay issue, and they are not who you thought they were cause of a pic that was decades old or not even them, you have every right to turn around and leave, don’t even entertain the idea of a ‘mercy’ fuck. Same as if you meet them and within 5 seconds they are trying to rip your clothes off and have sex with you. If you haven’t given the ok for this and they are making you feel extremely uncomfortable, get up and get out. I’m sure when you arranged to meet it may have been just a hook up or to get to know them, however when it’s not a mutual and not working for you a sex pest like that is verging on rape.
 
I had one guy turn up to my place years ago and I said to his face “They are not your pics, you’re a liar” and I shut the door in his face and he said “I used those pics cause I knew you wouldn’t fuck me if I used my real pics, and you’re so rude for shutting the door in my face” – no mate, you are a liar, and what is rude is you assuming I’d be so horny I wouldn’t care what you looked like. Trust me, I was horny, but pretending to be someone you are not is a massive turn off.
 
What’s the point of writing this? Hmmm, good question, gets it off my hairy chest for one, and I wanted it to be a reminder out there for anyone reading this that’s had similar experiences to know that there is nothing wrong with you at all, stand your ground, don’t give in to the insistent pressure of someone online or in person that you don’t know trying to get naked photos/ cock pics/ sex from you. They are not being flattering, they are not sincere, they certainly won’t travel half way across the world to be with you cause “OMG you’re so hot
 
It’s all a game I know, and some people score and win big meeting someone for either just great sex or finding love, however let’s play it all a bit smarter and give these people spoiling it for everyone exactly what they deserve – nothing!
 
Have a bit of dignity and self-respect, something none of these types of modern sex-pests have.
 
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Pride in London Parade to honour emergency services

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The Pride in London Parade will tomorrow be officially launched by members of the emergency services in honour of their commitment and bravery in recent tragic events.

London's Fire and Rescue service, the Metropolitan Police and London Ambulance service have all nominated LGBT+ colleagues to officially open the Pride in London Parade this Saturday 8 July at 1pm. Those LGBT+ colleagues who were involved in the recent Grenfell Tower fire tragedy, the London Bridge terror attack and the Westminster terror attack will be joined by the Rt. Hon. Lord Mayor of Westminster, Councillor Ian Adams, Mayor of London Sadiq Khan, members of the volunteer run Pride in London board and flagbearers showing flags from countries around the world - in particular the 72 countries where it’s still illegal to be LGBT+. They include:

Acting Inspector Natasha Walker who works as a community Inspector in Tower Hamlets. She has been a police officer for 16 years and is currently assisting with police community liaison after the Grenfell fire.

Jules Lockett, Head of Control Services Training for London Ambulance who supported the control room staff and attended in a support role at Grenfell.

Group Manager Norman Perry who representing the London Fire Brigade. He is a group manager and interagency liaison officer and was heavily involved with the London Fire Brigade response at several of the recent major incidents.

Marking 50 years since Parliament first voted to partially legalise homosexuality in the UK, which applied to England and Wales only, Pride in London will be marching with a global message of hope, acceptance, activism and love and in a show of solidarity to LGBT+ people living in Northern Ireland which has yet to legalise same sex marriage. The theme Love Happens Here is a much needed antidote to hate and the Parade will be a protest against hate. A recent hate crime report showed nearly half of LGBT+ people in London say they’ve experienced hate crime compared with a national figure of 18%.

With over 330 groups including around 80 floats, the Pride in London Parade is set to be the biggest and most colourful yet as it shuts down Oxford Street, Europe's busiest shopping street. An estimated 26,500 people are due to take part in the Parade and there is expected to be 1 million people attending Pride, making it London's largest single day outdoor event. Over 60% of parade groups are non-profit and community groups with others including LGBT+ employee networks, religious and political groups, trade unions and musical and sporting organisations.

The Parade will be the pinnacle of what is believed to the be the world’s largest Pride Festival – with well over 100 events since Saturday 24 June, and will officially close on Sunday 9 July, where awards for best new group, best walking group and best float amongst others will be announced at Pride in the Park with UK Black Pride at 4:15pm on Sunday in Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens.

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Australian Pioneer Activist Graham Carbery passes away

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One of Australia's most active and engaged community members has sadly passed away.Vale Graham Carbery (14 January 1947-5 July 2017)

In a statement from the Australian Gay and Lesbian archives, Graham Carbery was honoured for his services to the entire community.

 

Vale Graham Carbery (14 January 1947-5 July 2017)passed Vale Graham Carbery (14 January 1947-5 July 2017)

It is with great sadness that we acknowledge the death of Graham Carbery, teacher, activist, VFL senior umpire, and archivist and historian for the gay and lesbian community. While Graham was an important gay liberation and law reform activist from 1972 onward, most notably with groups such as the Gay Teachers and Students Group and the Homosexual Law Reform Coalition, his legacy is the extent and longevity of the Australian Lesbian and Gay Archives, which he founded and committed much of his life to for the past 40 years. Graham is survived by his partner of 45 years Gary Jaynes, and our thoughts and love are with him, his family and friends.

On behalf of the ALGA Committee.

He shall be sorely missed.

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Germany Legalises Same Sex Marriage

Germany's lower chamber of Parliament, the Bundstag, approved a measure by a vote of 393 to 226 to legalize same-sex marriage.

The vote came suddenly after Chancellor Angela Merkel softened her stance on the issue to allow a legislator's to "vote their conscience" on this last day of the country's legislative session.

Merkel herself voted against the measure, saying after the vote, "For me and the basic law, it’s about the marriage of a woman and a man. That’s why I voted against it. I hope that the vote today shows not only the mutual respect for different opinions but that this also leads to more peace and social cohesion as well.”

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UK TV Star Duncan James opens up about being Gay

  • Published in TV

UK TV Star and boyband member, Duncan James has opened up about his sexuality in a candid interview on TV show - Loose Women, saying that coming out was "the best thing he ever did".

Duncan is best known for being a member of boyband Blue, but he is currently starring in Hollyoaks as detective Ryan Knight.

Fans of the soapie will know that his character Ryan is currently hiding his sexuality, after it was revealed he was cheating with Kyle Kelly on the night his wife Amy Barnes died. (ooooer!)

And after reflecting on his character's storyline with the Loose Women panel, Duncan started to open up about his own experience.

"After years of carrying this secret inside me, I wanted to be who I am", he explained of coming out. "I wanted acceptance. I carried this burden on my shoulders for so many years.

"I was worried about what the fans would think, I was worried about family and friends, and I was living a lie really. It was the best thing I ever did.

"I did a story in a newspaper about coming out and it was one of the best things that could have happened."

On the reaction he received, Duncan added: "I thought people would say horrible things, but nothing happened. I just had positivity, love and support.

 

hollyoaks

Ryan and Kyle in Hollyoaks
© LIME PICTURES


"It's so important for people to feel comfortable with who they are and to come out and feel proud of who they are.

"I was very lucky that I had wonderful response from everybody and it made me feel happy that I could be me.

"We are living in 2017 now and it shouldn't be a problem anymore."

Watch the interview in our videos section.

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NSW Police Force Update Transgender Poster

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New educational posters are being distributed across the state to every NSW Police Force command to assist officers better understand transgender and gender diversity terms, including how to respectfully address people. Thanks to The Gender Centre and Twenty10 staff for helping us update our existing poster.

The Gender Centre and Sydney's Twenty10 organisations assisted the Police with the update to the posters.

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Commonwealth of countries establishes Equality Network

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The Commonwealth Equality Network (TCEN) welcomes the decision by the Commonwealth to approve the Network for accreditation as a Commonwealth organisation.

As a result of this landmark decision, TCEN is now the first and only LGBTI-focused organisation to be officially accredited by the Commonwealth.

Accreditation means that TCEN activists will benefit from increased access to, participation in and information about Commonwealth matters. It also sends a strong signal that the voices and needs of LGBTI people are legitimate and LGBTI activists have a vital role in civil society.

Established in 2013, TCEN is a diverse network of 38 civil society organisations in 39 countries working to challenge inequality and end discrimination against LGBTI people in the Commonwealth. The majority of TCEN members originate in low- and middle-income countries in the Global South. The Government of Canada has welcomed the Network’s accreditation, noting that TCEN “has challenged discrimination and countered homophobia and transphobia around the world—and today it represents a diversity of civil society organizations within the 52 member nations of the Commonwealth. This step will ensure that LGBTQ2 rights are an ever more important priority for the Commonwealth.”

TCEN is greatly encouraged by accreditation.

Rosanna Flamer-Caldera, Chair of TCEN and Executive Director of EQUAL GROUND – SRI LANKA, said: “Considering the process it takes, it is a small wonder and a great victory for TCEN to have been given accreditation as a Commonwealth organisation. I am certain TCEN can make great inroads into gaining LGBTI rights in the Commonwealth. I look forward to the day when all countries within the Commonwealth adhere to the principles of human rights and equality enshrined in the Commonwealth Charter, safeguarding LGBTI rights and upholding freedom and equality for all.”

Caleb Orozco, Executive Director of the United Belize Advocacy Movement (UNIBAM) and the winner of the 2017 David Kato Vision and Voice Award, whose successful lawsuit ended in Belize’s anti-homosexuality being law struck down in 2016, said: “Finally, Commonwealth governments have acknowledged that their LGBTI citizens’ dignity and rights are a part of democratic principles that should be at the policy table. As a citizen of the Commonwealth, it gives me hope that states will not leave totally the defence of rights to be the burden, alone, of individuals.”

Paul Dillane, Executive Director of the Kaleidoscope Trust, a London-based Network member and host of the TCEN Secretariat, said: “Let us be clear about the scale of the challenge: 36 countries in the Commonwealth continue to criminalise consensual same-sex acts and in many others LGBTI people experience discrimination and violence.

TCEN provides an important platform for activists around the world to organise and collaborate in the struggle for equality and freedom. This decision provides TCEN with a vital opportunity to put the human rights of LGBTI people on the agenda.”

In 2015, a group of TCEN members participated in the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in Malta, where a Barbadian activist became the first person to address Commonwealth foreign ministers on the lived reality of its LGBTI citizens. Such activism is resulting in the emergence of progressive policy; research on LGBTI rights in the Commonwealth shows how Commonwealth governments have made progress on LGBTI rights and presents best practice that other governments can learn from.

TCEN will harness the momentum accreditation gives to continue the struggle for the dignity, equality and basic freedoms of all LGBTI people throughout the Commonwealth, particularly during next year’s Commonwealth Heads of Government Summit hosted by the UK in April 2018.

 

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Giving Back!

Well,  celebrated it’s 10th year on the 3rd of June with a BIG Birthday Party and Charity Night! We raised $3,003.10 on the night for The Western Suburbs Haven Inc and had over 150 people attend the night. It just gets better and better and every dance...
THAT'S A TOTAL OF $ 21,213.10 over the years. My thank you’s are endless.

Firstly to Laydee Kinmee who organized the entertainment and the raffle, the performers Fifi Fo'Fum, Pomara Fifth, April Fools , Danger Del Rey, Melicious Damage, Damien Mancell, CoCo Foxx, Lola DelArte & Felicity Frockaccino.

The performances were brilliant and we appreciate the time you all donated.
Thank you to the people who assisted us on the night Ophelia Shaft for the music, George for the videos, Rob Manser & Ego Media for photos, Cliff for the t-shirts, setting up and pulling it all apart, Louise, John and anybody we may have overlooked.

Thank you to the people who donated the raffle prizes Mr X Adult Lifestyle Fairfield, Bowlerama Wetherill Park, The Dragmaker, Rhonda and Rita, Darryle and also a huge thank you to Mounties Bowling Club.

Also a big special thank you to Ian Stumbles, Greg (aka Gracie Lou) and Ann-Marie Calihanna and Star Observer for their ongoing support and also a huge thank you to all the people who attended and made it a brilliant and exciting Birthday and Charity event.

We look forward to seeing you all at our next dance on Saturday 5th August.

www.heavensocialdance.com

It's now that time when everybody is recovering from the Queen's Birthday Dance Party & Ball in The Blue Mountains that was a huge success; it gets bigger and bigger every year! So if you missed out this year, mark it in your diary and plan for next year...

It's also that time of the year also when we come together for the Sydney PRIDE festival which runs from the 09th - 28th June for more info : www.sydneypride.org

WOW ... After 5 SELL OUT SHOWS at Campbelltown RSL, they’re back AGAIN!!! Drags To Bitches on the 24th June and it will sell out so be quick (only 3 tables left). So come and join us as we celebrate all that is DRAG and those fabulous BITCHES we all know and love. For more info : www.dragentertainment.com

On the 8th of July The Polly's Club will celebrate 53 years as a major part of Sydney LGBTIQ scene. They will be presenting '' The Farmer Wants A DRAG QUEEN '' Show. The show is produced by Sue Ellen and The Pollys cast and she has been working her butt off at rehearsals I believe, So Come on DOWNTOWN (where all the lights are bright) and we will be waiting for you at Marrickville Town Hall at Polly's Birthday Party 7pm -12am , $25.00 at the door and I will be giving wrist bands, The rest of the Housewives will be there to entertain you as well. Fabulous Hampers and prizes to be won. www.thepollysclub.com.au

 

draggossip

Heaven has locked in their dates for 2018. What will change in 2018? It is so great that the committee and I get to keep it running the night for the GLBTQI community of the west to have somewhere to hang out!! Now let's Talk about show me the MONEY!! Which Western Sydney drag queen is being sued and might just end up in court !? 

The poor luv does everything right by people and she is having one pulled over her.

Hopefully her solicitors can help her out and save her from the stress of the courtroom – though, I would love to see the look on the judges face when she walks in….lol Until next time (13th July 2017)

Be Safe & Gorgeous,

BB

www.beverlybuttercup.com

 

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CYNTHIA GERMANOTTA, LADY GAGA’S MOTHER AND CO-FOUNDER OF BORN THIS WAY FOUNDATION, TO BE HONOURED AT WORLD OUTGAMES MIAMI OPENING CEREMONIES ON MAY 27

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World OutGames Miami is thrilled to announce that Cynthia Germanotta - president of Born This Way Foundation which she co-founded with her daughter Lady Gaga - will receive the Champion Award presented by the University of Miami Health System! This award will be given to her during the Opening Ceremonies. 

Produced by Jack Nolan and award-winning The Impression Group South, the Opening Ceremonies will wow audiences featuring performances by Kristine W, Tito Puente Jr., David Hernandez and a special performance by EnVee. Plus, Egyptian-Canadian actor, model and activist Omar Sharif Jr. will serve as the evening's special guest master of ceremonies. 

Opening Ceremonies will be held on Saturday, May 27, at 7 p.m. at The Fillmore Miami Beach at Jackie Gleason Theater. Limited tickets start at $33.00 USD and are available for friends and supports of registered participants.

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DISCO FEVER TIME

OMG ... So much as happened in the last four weeks, where will I start ?  OMG So much happened, Heaven's first two dance's at our NEW club Mounties Bowling Club, Fairfield has been bigger & better than what I expected with hundreds of people turning out making the first two dance's for this year a huge success and my 50th birthday party went off with a bang on 18th March with my friends & family donating money on the night a $1000 dollars was given Twenty10 .  Thank you so much for your support ..And BIG Congratulations to LayDee KinMee and the cast of Drags to Bitches for being nominated for the third time for (Production Show of the year) at the 19th ACE Awards Tuesday (11April) night and looking fabulous making mommy proud to think in three years you've sold out 30 shows a cross Sydney get ready campbelltown RSL they coming back for the fifth time this show will sell out 24 June Getting early or you will miss out www.dragentertainment.com

NOW we will celebrate the Easter weekend and recover from overdosing  on chocolate .  And the school holidays  are here YUCK !!!

We can NOW get excited about a brand new night coming to Western Sydney.  If the first one is a huge success on 29th April it will return as regular event in Western Sydney with Amanda Honey presenting RED RAW Parties "Women in Uniform" night for our friends around Penrith and surrounding suburbs. .. They hope you'll  come dressed in uniform but of course its not compulsory. The resident Dj Ruby Red will be bringing you the classic dance hits of the 70's 80's 90's + A special guest Dj T.B.A  from 7pm-12am at The Peachy Penarth , 54 Peachtree Rd , Tickets $15..  A wonderful night of sensational music aimed at women and their gay friendly friends (that means no one at all is excluded, straight, male, female, non binary, fluid, trans, etc etc) and come have some fun. If you're smiling, you're in! If you're affecting our enjoyment you're out - simple.

And then its DISCO TIME - The Polly's Club presenting Disco Fever ! return to the 70's with The Polly's in their glittery new show at The Marrickville Town Hall , 303 Marrickville Rd, on 06th May From 7pm - 12am  $25 www.thepollysclub.com.au

A quick reminder most social events are not-for-profit organizations which organize social events in the community to provide a safe place for the GLBTI community, to socialize and raise a little bit of money along the way for great organizations in the gay community.  So if you have the opportunity get out and check out social events like : Heaven Social Dance , The Polly’s Club , Unity Wollongong  & The Three Sisters Social Group in Blue Mountains ... Because they might just become a  memory like all the other fabulous nights that have come and gone in our community. so people need to make more of an effort .

And we must not forget the venues that support the LGBTQ  Community in western Sydney put on nights like trivia and bingo and provide fabulous free live entertainment there is something for everyone to do in western Sydney  

DRAG GOSSIP ;  On .. OFF... And NOW!?  It's on again take 2, rumours has it V-Bar is returning to a new club and on a NEW  night '' Saturday ", I believe at  Merrylands Bowling Club, date to be confirmed next month, who will the designated charity be and how long will this one last ??  Fingers crossed it lasts longer than last time, so much is happening in Western Sydney and I love to get out to other social events in Western Sydney.  That will make two new social events taking place in the West on a regular basis, how fabulous  =  That will be a total of 4 ongoing events in Western Sydney, it's all happening.

 

Until next time (10th May) Stay gorgeous! luv  Buttercup xxx     www.beverlybuttercup.com  

 

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