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The Modern Sex-pest

I keep hearing from gay men my age (yes, I’m old enough to be referred to as “daddy”) and a lot younger guys about a current plague of guys on line I’m calling the ‘Modern Sex-pest’.
 
Let’s get something straight, there is nothing attractive, flattering or even sexy about contacting someone you don’t know and within the first few lines of communication asking for a cock pic. It’s actually ugly... not the cock pic, the attitude.
 
Like here is an example, a guy messages me on Facebook Messenger (Could be Instagram/ Snapchat/ WhatsApp, any form of social media). Don’t know him, we have no mutual friends, no idea how they even found me when my profile is private. Conversation starts nice enough, “Hello, how are you and good morning”. It’s early so I say “I’m just waking up, how are you?” I get a thumbs up “I’m good thanks. Can I see you wanking?”
 
Wow – that’s forward.
 
I look in his profile and just like that old saying “People who talk the most have the least to say”, these days it seems to be the “People who are the most forward have the least to show”. The profile is limited, only thing on the timeline is shared from other people, not giving anything of himself except a filtered profile pic with “beauty face app” set to FULL.
 
Now, I’m a sexual being and in the past I had no problem sharing pics or vids of myself cause it was fun and exciting, but the key word here is “sharing”, and that’s the difference, there is a change happening where these type of people don’t want to share, instead they talk to you like it’s a job interview, they ask all the questions and reveal nothing about themselves, except maybe to find a few common interests with you and that’s only to gain your trust and think you have a ‘friend’ on line.
 
So you send a photo, and you wait for a return photo, and you wait, and you ask, and they come back with “man, you look so great” or “that’s so big” or something to that nature and they ask for another photo – guess what, that’s your cue for “they aren’t sending anything”. Stop all communication, block them even. They will call you rude and make it seem like they were only having fun and try and weasel their way back in. They are wasting your time and playing with you in a way that’s not going to result in an orgasm.
 
And those apps like Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, they are great, love them, they have a genuine purpose; however they also can allow a certain type of person a platform to manipulate you into meeting with them and they have either used another person’s pics on their profile, or put up a front of being someone they are not. The classic line of “I go to the gym” does not count if you are only walking past it on your way to Hungry Jacks.
 
If you decide to meet up with someone, and I’ve had to say this to my niece so it’s not just a gay issue, and they are not who you thought they were cause of a pic that was decades old or not even them, you have every right to turn around and leave, don’t even entertain the idea of a ‘mercy’ fuck. Same as if you meet them and within 5 seconds they are trying to rip your clothes off and have sex with you. If you haven’t given the ok for this and they are making you feel extremely uncomfortable, get up and get out. I’m sure when you arranged to meet it may have been just a hook up or to get to know them, however when it’s not a mutual and not working for you a sex pest like that is verging on rape.
 
I had one guy turn up to my place years ago and I said to his face “They are not your pics, you’re a liar” and I shut the door in his face and he said “I used those pics cause I knew you wouldn’t fuck me if I used my real pics, and you’re so rude for shutting the door in my face” – no mate, you are a liar, and what is rude is you assuming I’d be so horny I wouldn’t care what you looked like. Trust me, I was horny, but pretending to be someone you are not is a massive turn off.
 
What’s the point of writing this? Hmmm, good question, gets it off my hairy chest for one, and I wanted it to be a reminder out there for anyone reading this that’s had similar experiences to know that there is nothing wrong with you at all, stand your ground, don’t give in to the insistent pressure of someone online or in person that you don’t know trying to get naked photos/ cock pics/ sex from you. They are not being flattering, they are not sincere, they certainly won’t travel half way across the world to be with you cause “OMG you’re so hot
 
It’s all a game I know, and some people score and win big meeting someone for either just great sex or finding love, however let’s play it all a bit smarter and give these people spoiling it for everyone exactly what they deserve – nothing!
 
Have a bit of dignity and self-respect, something none of these types of modern sex-pests have.
 
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Dancing in the moonlight with Damien Mancell

How are you?… and where are you ?
I’m at home in Sydney , finishing off some music . Im really good by the way…


Tell us about the new single “Moonlight” ?
“Moonlight” was written about a big night out in Sydney. its semi autobiographical. I wrote the words on a napkin in a club one night and sang them into my phone. Then I created the idea with my collaborator Steve Mellare, and we just crafted the song very quickly. I was so happy with it , i knew it had to be a single. It was the final track written for the album, along with another song “Roll The Dice”, which sounds nothing like “Moonlight”. It's my dance pop moment on the record. 


You’ve got an album in the works, what can you tell us about it?
The album is a long time coming, BUT it is coming in the next few months . I have about 17 songs already to go. The album is very electronic. quite old school dance, massive 90’s influence. I was listening to a lot of Pet Shop Boys and 90’s Rave at the time. Steve (Mellare), my producer is a massive fan of New Order and a lot of electronica. We meet somewhere in the middle. I also love the pop sensibilities of Kylie Minogue, Britney… good pop, well-written pop, so I have a healthy dose of that in there too. I have my collaborations with Chunky Astronaut and a hot feature with a female rapper MZ Sammy G, who slayed her verse in the track “Round N Round”… 


Is there a video planned for “Moonlight”?
yes Im doing it in a week, without giving too much away , think projections, lots of colours in darkness... Moody, sexy... 

 
You have Chunky Astronaut again remixing your track , and also DJ James Tobin. How did that come about?
I always have the “Chunky Man” on a single, as i think he’s awesome, and he delivers kickass remixes. The remix by James Tobin is brilliant. Im a big fan of his work as a remixer and a DJ. He’s an amazing DJ, so I just sent him a request and he said yes. Some remixers have a little ego about doing work, but he was amazingly easy to work with, and he delivered the goods. Its getting good spins in Europe, which is all I can ask for . He’s very talented, and I’m glad Ive got him now before everyone wants him. His remix of Greg Gould is hot. I would love to have him do more remixes. Who knows?


Its a great remix. Who is on your wish list of people to work with?
I would love to work with heaps of people in the dance scene in sydney but I feel its a little closed here with people not wanting to collaborate. I would love to do a track with Mark Loasby again. I would love US DJ corey Craig to do a track with me, because not only is he a friend, but he has amazing dance sensibilities. He knows dance music backwards and is frighteningly talented. DJ Andrew Gibbons from the US as well, because he’s a phenomenal DJ. 


You always have remixes on all your singles, why are they important?
I think Ive always wanted them to show a different side of what i do. I also like to showcase the DJ or remixer. Like Chunky Astronaut have their own following, and to dip into their world is fun. The same with Robot Diaries, they are nuts, but I loved the remixes I had done from them. Mark Loasby remixes are pretty spectacular to. He gets the LGBT dance floor and nails it every time. I was so happy for him when his remix of “shine” (Damien’s 2010 pop hit) went well in gay clubs in some european countries..


Where are the majority of your fanbase based?
mainly use and selected European countries, not much in Oz yet, but I hope to change that. It would be nice to break my homeland. Its good to get support from people like JOY FM, and Queer Radio here though. Im beyond appreciative.


You recently became a target for evangelical groups. What was that about ?
Keyboard warriors with too much time on their hands really. They go after “OUT” artists by flooding their emails , twitter DM’s …etc… with thousands of emails with pro christian stuff. At first it makes you angry but after a while you just get used to it. They have tried to break into my website a couple of hundred times this year. Its annoying, and makes me want to go further to piss them off. Give them something to “really” complain about. 


Do you feel that , as an out LGBT performer , doors close because of your disclosure?
its closed doors in the mainstream, with  major labels saying they don’t know where to “place me”, or they don’t know how to promote me. I think that’s a bit backward, but I see what they are promoting and I may not be bland enough for them. But i do feel that its probably better for me artistically that I get to do what I want. I write and produce myself, I commission my own remixes, I style myself, and do my own visuals. I have complete control on what I do.I love collaboration, and by owning what I do , I get the confidence to work with established people. I’ve had labels try and “straighten” me out over the years to no avail. 


Would you ever play Mardi Gras?
Love totoo... Its on the bucket list. Though Im not sure Im on the MG radar. I've always gone to the party, since 1994, so to even get 5 minutes up there would be a dream. I’ve had my remixes played there before, but as for a live show… sadly no.


Who are you currently listening to?
I love the new STEPS record, I think its one of the strongest records in years. I like the new Goldfrapp, and Im loving a lot of the remixes coming from Britney’s “Glory” album . There are some amazing bootleg mixes out there. 


any message for our readers ?
yeah, thanks for everything , head over to iTunes and grab “Moonlight”, or to any of my socials to keep up to date with my goings on.

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Our favourite looks from the Marco Marco Fashion show

Underwear designer and avant guard fashionista, Marco Marco took to the runway this past week with their trademark fashion show featuring a bevvie of trans, drag and cis models. Its always a feast for the eyes, given that the designers offerings cover the various body shapes and sizes in eclectic and vibrant strips, patterns and materials.

We have gathered some of our favourite looks from some of the celeb models on show.

Vanity Faire (Vanity)

One of our good mates in Australia, Vanity STOLE the runway this year, with an incredible shape and style we don't think America has seen before. Totally fierce and fabulous as only Vanity can do... and as some of you know - she is THE Vanity, from Wigs By Vanity (as seen on Drag superstars heads the world over.)

 

 

Ginger Eddie

Eddie Eduardo is pure lickable Hercules in this speedo style pant. The stripes and the eyeliner just make you want to sit at the end of the runway in a trenchcoat. lol. Work those poses Eddie!

 

Raja

She is her own natural style icon, so having Raja on the Marco Marco runway was a real treat. And what an outfit! It's shimmer-tastic. You might remember her from Drag Race or her many youtube web series.

 

Courtney Act

She is the songbird that can turn lipgloss and mascara into FACE, and serve it! Well she is definately serving us this Marco Marco creation. 

Here are some more hot shots from the night including more drag superstars Adele Delano, Alaska Thunderfuck, Detox

 

Check out the entire video from the show on our videos page.

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Never Marry an Icon - The Loss of One

Each year many wonderful entertainers and people in the public eye unfortunately pass, and for the most part many of them in our lives will go unnoticed. It is, after all, sometimes hard to grieve for the loss of someone we have never met, or that we are distanced from either physically or socially.


So why is it other celebrity deaths produce a sense of grief and loss? A celebrity, or iconic performer, that touched our lives at some pivotal point becomes like a friend we view from a distance. They open our minds to new ideas, they inspire us, they motivate us, and they have an uncanny ability at times to help us feel good when no when else can, whether it’s watching them on the big screen or simply listening to them.


Sometimes it can just be the simple notion that they allow us a sense of just being ourselves when surrounded by a world of conformity. Bowie, Prince, Robin Williams, all incredibly talented and unique performers.


However let’s not also forget Pete Burns who passed recently of a massive cardiac arrest. Pete, from ‘Dead or Alive’, may only be remembered by many for being a one-hit wonder and someone in recent years that made every Top 10 list of “Botched up Plastic Surgeries”.


Pete Burns was more than that. In a time of Gender Bending in the 80’s he took that concept and bent it another 69 degrees. He also had a cut throat no bullshit attitude and was ready to speak his mind with an acid tongue well before Nicki Minaj was even thought of. He didn’t just teach me to wear whatever I liked and not care what society thought; he taught me it was ok to speak my mind.


So when we mourn a celebrity death, we don’t always shed a tear because we knew them personally, we shed a tear because in some way, shape or form, they helped us know ourselves a little better.

 

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EXCLUSIVE: We chat with the first ever Trans politicial candidate for NSW Greens in Australia

Dedicated to celebrating transgender people and raising awareness of discrimination faced by transgender people worldwide, March 31 is the International Transgender Day of Visibility.

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