I keep hearing from gay men my age (yes, I’m old enough to be referred to as “daddy”) and a lot younger guys about a current plague of guys on line I’m calling the ‘Modern Sex-pest’.
Let’s get something straight, there is nothing attractive, flattering or even sexy about contacting someone you don’t know and within the first few lines of communication asking for a cock pic. It’s actually ugly... not the cock pic, the attitude.
Like here is an example, a guy messages me on Facebook Messenger (Could be Instagram/ Snapchat/ WhatsApp, any form of social media). Don’t know him, we have no mutual friends, no idea how they even found me when my profile is private. Conversation starts nice enough, “Hello, how are you and good morning”. It’s early so I say “I’m just waking up, how are you?” I get a thumbs up “I’m good thanks. Can I see you wanking?”
Wow – that’s forward.
I look in his profile and just like that old saying “People who talk the most have the least to say”, these days it seems to be the “People who are the most forward have the least to show”. The profile is limited, only thing on the timeline is shared from other people, not giving anything of himself except a filtered profile pic with “beauty face app” set to FULL.
Now, I’m a sexual being and in the past I had no problem sharing pics or vids of myself cause it was fun and exciting, but the key word here is “sharing”, and that’s the difference, there is a change happening where these type of people don’t want to share, instead they talk to you like it’s a job interview, they ask all the questions and reveal nothing about themselves, except maybe to find a few common interests with you and that’s only to gain your trust and think you have a ‘friend’ on line.
So you send a photo, and you wait for a return photo, and you wait, and you ask, and they come back with “man, you look so great” or “that’s so big” or something to that nature and they ask for another photo – guess what, that’s your cue for “they aren’t sending anything”. Stop all communication, block them even. They will call you rude and make it seem like they were only having fun and try and weasel their way back in. They are wasting your time and playing with you in a way that’s not going to result in an orgasm.
And those apps like Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, they are great, love them, they have a genuine purpose; however they also can allow a certain type of person a platform to manipulate you into meeting with them and they have either used another person’s pics on their profile, or put up a front of being someone they are not. The classic line of “I go to the gym” does not count if you are only walking past it on your way to Hungry Jacks.
If you decide to meet up with someone, and I’ve had to say this to my niece so it’s not just a gay issue, and they are not who you thought they were cause of a pic that was decades old or not even them, you have every right to turn around and leave, don’t even entertain the idea of a ‘mercy’ fuck. Same as if you meet them and within 5 seconds they are trying to rip your clothes off and have sex with you. If you haven’t given the ok for this and they are making you feel extremely uncomfortable, get up and get out. I’m sure when you arranged to meet it may have been just a hook up or to get to know them, however when it’s not a mutual and not working for you a sex pest like that is verging on rape.
I had one guy turn up to my place years ago and I said to his face “They are not your pics, you’re a liar” and I shut the door in his face and he said “I used those pics cause I knew you wouldn’t fuck me if I used my real pics, and you’re so rude for shutting the door in my face” – no mate, you are a liar, and what is rude is you assuming I’d be so horny I wouldn’t care what you looked like. Trust me, I was horny, but pretending to be someone you are not is a massive turn off.
What’s the point of writing this? Hmmm, good question, gets it off my hairy chest for one, and I wanted it to be a reminder out there for anyone reading this that’s had similar experiences to know that there is nothing wrong with you at all, stand your ground, don’t give in to the insistent pressure of someone online or in person that you don’t know trying to get naked photos/ cock pics/ sex from you. They are not being flattering, they are not sincere, they certainly won’t travel half way across the world to be with you cause “OMG you’re so hot”
It’s all a game I know, and some people score and win big meeting someone for either just great sex or finding love, however let’s play it all a bit smarter and give these people spoiling it for everyone exactly what they deserve – nothing!
Have a bit of dignity and self-respect, something none of these types of modern sex-pests have.