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RuPaul's Drag Race SEASON 10 EPISODE 4 - THE LAST BALL ON EARTH

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
Well, the show was pretty much ALL runway, s0 it’d be hard not to concede that it made up this week’s highlights. And while there was a lot of questionable couture (Vixen’s extended legwarmers?) the ones that stood out were GAG-o-rama! I ached for Miz Cracker’s baby pink Barbie Army look, that frosted lip and shimmer cheek. And her Mars look, equal parts camp and creativity, was everything. Let’s talk about Kameron giving us Real Housewives of Alaskan Summer in the first runway, then Falcon Crest goes to Miami for her second look. But her Mars outfit was one of my favourites with the green lip, and how she incorporated her bee tattoo into the design. Brava!

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FROSTY TIPS
How intense is this Untucked gig? Seems The Vixen does not like to back down, and her big reactions just overshadow whatever the actual catalyst was. In this case, Eureka calling Vixen and Monique “crafty”: was it an innocent reference to their art, or a read on their ability to get through unscathed? The response from both was hard to get a handle on, but when Eureka saw it as “negative” it escalated faster than those first cocktails were finished. Clearly Eureka was hankering to get on The Vixen’s last nerve, and lord I was nervous when they got up in each other’s space and it looked like we might get an old fashioned drag queen punch up with some Absolut getting thrown in bitches faces.

PROUDEST MARY
Three snaps up for Monet’s lip sync. I mean, she was shook by the judge’s critiques, but she came back with some next level werk right there. And the pièce de résistance with that non-death drop fake-out was genius. That, ladies, is how it’s done!

LAZIEST SUSAN
Asia, Aquaria, The Vixen, Monet, Dusty Ray, Monique – I’m calling all of them out for getting on that runway and NOT HAVING TITTIES! What the actual fuck? And none of the judges are reading them for it. I’ve had it. OFFICIALY! Give me some tig ole biddies oozing out of plunging necklines and no more shit taped to your flat man-chest!

NOTABLE QUOTABLES
- Monique interrupting Mayhem: Not to cut you off… but to cut you off…
- Eureka on her Rihanna photo bomb: I’m gonna be pointing at her puss-wha-cha!
- Eureka in the strongest southern accent ever: What acceeeeeent?
- Miz Cracker on her runway look: I am workin’ this merkin!
- Mayhem to Eureka re The Vixen: Maybe she’s someone that you can’t fucks with.
- Monique any time she addresses “America”. JUST KILLS ME!

SHADIEST LADY
Miz Cracker bringing up Sugar Daddy rumours to Aquaria was some of the shaaaaadiest riggory I’ve ever seen up in here. And delivered in the most innocent, backhanded way. Bitch should get the GLAAD Award for that shadiness. Props to Aquaria for brushing it off and not losing focus. Is it just me, or is anyone else warming to Aquaria…?

WAIT. WHAT?
Monet’s “little history lesson” about English accents being adapted from the American. Without a hint of irony: “Y’know, the people in England they sounded like us, aka Americans. Then they got the accent when they went there. People think it’s the other way round…” Ummm, what? Everyone’s looking at each other like ‘that can’t be right…’ until Monique pipes up and says, “That’s. FALSE. AMERICA!” Absolute GOLD!

REALLY REAL
Asia taking on the role as the Black Martha Stewart (or, as Monet clocked it, “Blartha”) was brilliant, and seeing that drag mother side coming out was really sweet. Later on the runway, when she talked about how her own work may have suffered due to her helping everyone out, it was a beautiful thing to see everyone say, “Yeah she did”, instead of just throwing her under the bus (I’m looking at YOU BEBE ZAHARA BENET!). Judges told her she’s got to look after herself first, and I get that … but at the same time it takes away from what was genuine camaraderie. Sometimes I like seeing these queens help each other out instead of rip one another apart.

LIVING FOR…
Blair St Claire. She got more air time, got to show more of herself, and what we saw was fabulous. I gotta say, she’s now my favourite in this competition. Her Alaskan Winter look was some Old Hollywood poolside glamour, and then her Miami Summer look gave me all sorts of Ann-Margret realness. And that Mars look was like Melanie Griffiths does Barbarella. Even her Beyonce photo bomb was on point. All the references were there. I can’t even with this queen!

SURPRISE SURPRISE!
The Photo Bomb Mini Challenge was camp, with some clearly working better than others. Aquaria won with the Kim/Kanye shot, which for me wasn’t that great. I thought Kameron Michaels’ “I’m With Stupid” sign with the Trumps was glorious. And busted up Monique feeling up Jonai bulge was inspired.

oops

IT AIN’T WHATCHU WEAR!
Okay, so we need to talk about RuPaul’s outfit, with the face completely covered in fabric, bold red Lepore lips, and that visor covering up half her face. It was all very Philip Salon goes to Floriade. It was a great look, but my one critique is the Sia mistake: which is, if we can’t see your eyes then we can’t read your intent. Bring back … my eyes!

IT’S HOOOW YOU WEAR IT!
Tisha Campbell Martin was one of the original chorus girls in the film version of Little Shop of Horrors, and if you don’t know what that is then shame on you. But someone tell her stylist that titties are supposed to meet in the middle. She’s here for drag, not open-heart surgery.

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
Nice to see Aquaria get up and win, particularly after the savaging she went through last week. I personally didn’t think she was the best, and frankly I do not understand how Blair was only safe and not in the top this week. But look, Aquaria put in the work and I’m happy to see her get a win.

BYEEEEEEE…
Dusty Ray Bottoms vs Monet X Change lipsyncing to ‘Pound The Alarm’ by Nicki Minaj:
As mentioned previously, Monet was all kinds of everything. She worked all the quirks, not just with the words, but with the whole vibe of the track. Bitch put on a show, good and proper, and made it gagworthy. And while Dusty gave a lot too, it was clear she was never gonna match what Monique had here.

So sadly we find Dusty Ray on the bottom and out the door.

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Season 10, Episode 3 - Tap that App.

PROUDEST MARY
Monet and the sponge dress. She is loving herself sick over that sponge dress. For reals though. Does she just carry those bits of sponge around with her, tucked under her wig or something?

LAZIEST SUSAN
Oh no - is Mayhem a look queen only? I thought she had more moxey and pizzazz, but in the App challenge she was all “I dunno…” and they walked all over her. Maybe it was a one-off, maybe she’ll learn from it. Her comments in Untucked seemed to suggest so. Step that pussy UP gurl.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES
- Visage on Yuhua’s runway: The look was just like hairy Dalmatian with HPV.
- Monique: Asia isn’t feeling the concept. She like ‘guuurl’, and when another drag queen goes ‘guuurl’ you know it ain’t good…
- Monique (again): America, let the facts be the facts: The Vixen handed Aquaria her ass in a gift bag. Gift wrapped. There you go. Merry Christmas.
- Monique (AGAIN) on Mayhem’s apathy: Girl you better deliver cos if I’m in the bottom two because of you I’m cuttin’ up all your wigs. All of ‘em.
- Monique (AGAAAAIN!) in Untucked: I just hope some bitches … better not throw me under the bus cos they gettin’ an UNGODLY phone call. And I’m gonna record it and then I’m gonna put the bitch on YouTube.
- The entire cast not aware yet the internet sensation that has evolved: Vanjiiiie… Vanjiiie… Vanjiiiie….

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
All that Fresh Off The Bus Drag stuff was so much fun!
The Vixen being a dog, barking how good the chocolate is. Hysterical!
Blair St Clair feverishly tapping with those Raquel Welsh pigtails and Peter Pan collar. Everything!
And Monet dancing an Irish jig. I fucking LIVE.
But I lost my shit over Miz Cracker saying “I taste like your best afternoon… April 24th”. For those that don’t know, this is an obscure Streisand reference - look it up! - and now I’m more obsessed with Cracker than ever.

FROSTY TIPS
Well, I did ask for more race stuff… **awkward laugh**
I’m not gonna say too much here, as I’m sure it’ll be hotly debated within the group, but my heart kinda broke for Aquaria. Yeah she’s made her own bed, but fuck – she had Dusty come for her, Monique come for her, Cracker sort of come for her, and of course The Vixen come for her, all at once, and then when it finally broke her she had to deal with the most unsympathetic, dismissive response – how much does bitch have to take?

SHADIEST LADY
Yuhua. Just everything Yuhua.
She’s there suggesting new names for the Madam Buttrface app, not even realising it’s in fact the funniest app name of the three.
She had to be told how to do ugly drag, and she still didn’t get it..
She’s about as funny as a malignancy, but gets all shitty and defensive when her teammates try to gently critique her.
THEN THE BITCH gets on the runway and claims she wanted to put on an ugly nose but “my teammates said no, so I didn’t put it on…”
Ummm that’s a fucking bold-faced lie. THAT’S FAKE FUCKING NEWS! You are the Cambridge Analytica quiz of this season.
Why is there even a lip sync this week? Just send this bitch home?

WAIT. WHAT?
Blair St Clair coming out as a … as a … as a CHRISTIAN. **sob**
It’s like when Beyonce thanks god at the Grammys where she’s just been awarded for the song she wrote about giving blowjobs. I just … I don’t get it.

REALLY REAL
Dusty’s story, talking about the dysfunctional relationship with his parents, and getting exorcised and made to attend fucking pray the gay away therapy. This sort of story never fails to upset me. It’s atrocious. People are the worst. This queen is amazing! His parents should thank their stupid god that they have this great, creative, funny, wonderful talent, and not some dumb Christian cookie-cutter who believes god gives out awards for songs about blowjobs.
Of course, now he has a beautiful fiancé and a fabulous road ahead. Fuck off anti-gays. You’re time is so over. As Latrice would say, EAT IT.

LIVING FOR…
That ginger Pit Crew guy… I mean, I just can’t cope!
He’s sitting there in his tighty dayglo undies, all laid back and sexy like whatever bitch I got time, and you guys I seriously haven’t had sex in like FOR. EVER. and something’s just GOT TO GIVE OKAY???? **passes out**

SURPRISE SURPRISE!
Courtney Love needed subtitles. I couldn’t understand a single word. Did she have a stroke? Seriously. Was that Bell’s Palsy? She sounded like those clips of Judy Garland drunk on a late night talkshows in the 60s.

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
Ohmygod did y’all see Eureka’s facecrack when Asia won the week? Hahaha.
Asia did well in the Maxi, and that Tweety Bird look for the Feather runway was INSPIRED. Camp, comical, glamorous, fabulous. DIE! She earned her win this week.
That said, I begged for Monique this week. The detail in her feather cape, all that white and gold, so beautifully constructed. She looked like some kind of mythical creature come to life. And all of her cutaways were hysterical, and her self-directing wearing those big stupid beanbag titties… I was floored!

BYEEEEEEE…
Mayhem vs Yuhua lipsyncing to ‘Celebrity Skin’ by Hole:
What a GREAT track for a drag number!
Yuhua looked out of place – like Britney covering I Love Rock’n’Roll; no you don’t! – while Mayhem gave it attitude and anger. In the end Mayhem was tearing off her feathers, malting all over the runway, and it was ART. Unleash!

So Yuhua went home.
Good.

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