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RuPaul's Drag Race: Season 10 Rucap - The Finale

LIVING FOR…
Those season 1 queens coming back for the 10 year milestone, although the exclusion of Tammie Brown was kinda heartbreaking. Porkchop looked fabulous. Why don’t I remember Jade? And why isn’t Ongina a superstar?

season 1

DYING OVER…
With all the memes going round, how hilarious was it when Ru asked Asia about her dead parents!

IT AIN’T WHAT YOU WEAR…
I did not like Cracker’s outfit at all. All the black and dark and what? And I didn’t get the fake tear on the runway. It was totally in contrast to what she tried to present on the show. Was it a Jewish thing? Was she in mourning? I don’t get it.

IT’S HOW YOU WEAR IT
It’s ALL ABOUT EVE! Sasha Velour’s outfit was of biblical proportions. Now THAT’s a queen! Fuck I love her. And it made me realise how sadly lacking season 10 was in that weird and wonderful subversiveness. Where were the Sashas this year? Where were the spooky Sharons? Where were the Alaskas dressed as Lady Bunny?

et

REALLY REAL
Eureka’s mother tho...

SHADIEST LADY
So annoying to have Gus Kenworthy reading out a question. Fuck him. Fuck his dumb Olympics. Fuck his straight-acting man posse. Fuck his butch queen beardedness and his oversized watch and fucking corporate sponsor baseball cap. Fuck him! He’s not the solution; he’s part of the fucking problem.

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
I live for the good, old-fashioned diva anthem Lip Sync for the Crown. It’s old school and it matters. I’m not even mad about the seemingly unending outfit reveals. Whether it’s subtle (Kameron slipping off her kimono) or garish (Aquaria dressed as a Hershey’s Kiss) for me it still works.

rupaul

FROSTY TIPS
There’s just no overstating the epic, epic fail of Asia’s butterfly blunder. I mean, we’ve all seen it. I’ve watched it twice now. It’s the worst misstep I think I’ve ever seen on the show ever. And so perfectly Asia. While Kameron is working the lyric and the vibe and the hairography of the track, poor Asia is blowing on her wrist, watching the crown slip through her fingers, and thanking god she didn’t go with her original idea of live doves.

butterflies

PROUDEST MARY
Kameron’s white trash Tennessee mother. I live! And you just know that bitch was a metal groupie back in the day, riding the Motley Crue tour bus and getting Aerosmith tattoos. Fun fact: Steve Tyler is constantly referenced on groupie websites as having a massive cock and being incredible in bed.

LAZIEST SUSAN
Y’all know I love me some Eureka, but what was she doing there in that final lip sync? That front high kick she kept giving me was just a distraction from the fabulousness that was happening behind her. Uh-uh. No.

A FEW MORE LAST THINGS…
- Did y’all clock Oprah’s big ole man hands? Bitch must give a hateful backhand.
- Dame Judi Dench. Oh, werk bitch.
- Mariah’s “snacks” intro. This queen is the fucking living end. Get her back for an All Stars.
- That ‘Lip Sync Eleganza Extravaganza’ with all the Ru songs blended together was great. And was it just me, or did anyone else think what an amazing idea it’d be to have a sitcom starring Vanjie and Porkchop???
- How fabulous for Monet to get Miss Congeniality. So deserving. And how horrible to have to see Valentina again. I’ve never wanted more to glass a queen in her simpering, fake-smile face.
- And speaking of Miss Congeniality, what’s the t with the online vote being null and void? Anyone got the Reddit goss?
- I don’t know if you know this about me ... but I **ACHE** for Bang Bang. It’s my fucking JAM. “B -t’tha- A -t’tha- N -t’tha- G -t’tha...!”

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
I worked out Aquaria was born 2 years after If was released. Not only did she know those lyrics, she knew the fucking video choreography and she turn’t that shit OUT. I was beside myself. Good girl! And where did she pull that glitter gun from during Bang Bang? – her twat??? With that cape and the stars she looked like a drag superhero.

aquaria winner

I’m thrilled she won. All through that finale she was gorgeous, poised, confident, fun. That masquerade eye mask was all the fabulousnesses. And she won that final lip sync fair and square. Bitch is 22 years old! Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent; soak it up, bitches!

stunning

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RuPaul's Drag Race SEASON 10 EPISODE 13 - QUEENS REUNITED

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
Everything that came out of the mouth of Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, with that fucking crazy rusted chainsaw voice of hers, was hysterical. But when she talked about getting sent videos of people “in’er-coursin’”. Guuuuurl! It was gold.

FROSTY TIPS
I thought Ru coming down on Asia was way harsh Tai. It was a rare moment of seeing him losing control, and it was clear there was some major transference happening that he could not get a grip on. I wish he’d handled Asia with a bit more compassion. She was really going through it and I don’t know that she needed to be put in her place for speaking up at that point. I found it hard to watch.

asia

IT AIN’T WHAT YOU WEAR…
Eureka came as a Disney Princess. But where exactly do you go to get that much sky-blue polyester...?

IT’S HOW YOU WEAR IT
Yuhua looked fucking amazing. Wednesday Addams meets corpse bride meets banshee bitch. With the purple and the face craters. I beg.

LIVING FOR…
Did we all notice Aquaria’s homage to Monique in her outfit…?

BROWN. COW. STUNNING!

aquaria

DYING OVER…
Monet still going on about that fucking Sponge Dress. I beg for this bitch.

REALLY REAL
Asia and Cracker having their moment was lovely. Cracker was honest and upfront. Credit to Asia for owning it and admitting she was wrong to say what she said. And to Cracker for accepting the sincerity of that apology. Let go and let love, people. Let go and let love.

SHADIEST LADY
Monique came for Kameron, claiming her introspective nature was a strategy, which led to an all out slaughter of Kameron’s character right in front of the bitch. Ouch! I purposely don’t follow the girls on social media during the show so I don’t know, but the claim was she has all kinds of personality on Insta that she didn’t wanna show on screen. Was it all strategy? Or was it just her way of gettin’ through?

PROUDEST MARY
After spending what seemed like hours discussing just one queen, wasn’t it bracing to then suddenly segue into Dusty’s struggle with family and conversion therapy. I realised that I’d shamefully forgotten this fucking heartbreaking story, and it just made me feel shitty for being so invested in the infighting instead of the real shit people deal with and overcome. I mean, this queen...!!! You can’t see but right now I’m doing the Cracker clap where she bangs the bottom of her palms together with her nails out. Yeah, that. That’s what I’m doin’.

cracker

LAZIEST SUSAN
Was Mayhem Miller there? I can’t remember…


ONE MORE THING
We got through race, religion and the politics of drag. There were tears, tell-alls and tough love. Is it just me or is RuPaul auditioning herself for an Oprah spot?

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RuPaul's Drag Race SEASON 10 EPISODE 11 - EVIL TWINS

LIVING FOR…
Evil twin Katrina Michaels – again with the basic names, but – her face was beat to perfection. I know she got read for it, but I ached for this look, with the orange forehead into the yellow, and the matching shimmer under the eye. It was so detailed and seamless and tribal glamour gorgeous.

kamerontwin

DYING OVER…
Cheyenne Jackson is so fucking beautiful. If you haven’t seen his masturbation video DM me. It’s good.

REALLY REAL
Such an interesting concept to get competitors to not only admit to their insecurities, but to actually showcase them in order to win a challenge. It seems counterproductive, but it was actually fascinating. And gawd it would’ve been so anxiety inducing to have to do! There shoulda been Xanax on that Untucked cocktail table.

twins 1

NOTABLE QUOTABLES
Asia (about Cracker): A sewing machine should not have that much power over you.
Aquaria: Cheer when you pee clear.
Cracker (incredulously): Cheer when you pee clear???
Visage (to Ru): I’m the Serena to your Samantha.

SHADIEST LADY
Me, when I noticed that Kameron’s shoulder tattoos say ‘Carpe’ on one side and ‘Diem’ on the other. My eyes rolled so hard I think I may have done permanent damage.

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
Eureka’s ‘Cher from Clueless’ vs ‘Divine’ looks. Such fabulous references, brilliantly executed without being too much. Plus I love tartan on anything.

twins2

FROSTY TIPS
Is no one gonna talk about Asia O’Hara – an African American cross dresser – calling her evil twin North Korea? Rampant racism! This is Trump’s America.

PROUDEST MARY
Lena Dunham! With her blue hair and deep-v’d black gown, feathered and beaded to within an inch of her life. AND with a cape! AND with chandelier earrings! She looked like Liza Minnelli’s second cousin. I’ve seen her attend Emmy Awards with less thought. I mean, THIS was an effort made. THIS is how you should dress for Drag Race!

twins3

LAZIEST SUSAN
The Mini Challenge this week was to drag up pancakes. Are the producers that starved for both carbs and ideas?

twins4

ONE MORE THING
Visage telling Aquaria she loved her mixing cheetah and ocelot print made me guffaw out loud cos all I could think was “Brown Cow. Stunning”.

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
Aquaria wins the challenge. And deservedly so. This was eleganza, this was fabulosity, this was thought, this was look; this was D-R-A-G, baby. And her thank you to Ru for letting her learn more about herself in the process. Can I get an amen?

twins5

BYEEEEEEE…
Kameron Michaels vs Miz Cracker lip syncing to ‘Nasty Girl’ by Vanity 6:


This track was of course penned by Prince, and it’s about funky, sexy, nasty action. It can only be sung in negligees, black lipstick and 8-inch stiletto boots. So when it began playing I had doubts that these hos were gonna deliver.

Guuurl I was wrong!

They served the vim and the vigor, with more cartwheels and calisthenics than the Chinese gymnastics team. Cracker mixed in some signature comedy mugging, while Kameron busted out this oscillating leg move whilst on her back that I’m still trying to work out exactly how the laws of physics allowed her to do.

twins6

And let’s just take a minute to discuss Kameron Michaels onstage...

When Kameron performs she does something not all queens can do, and that’s completely own the number. She works her body, her rhythm, her face, her steps, her whole being into what the song she’s delivering requires. She instinctively knows the lyric and sells it. It’s something pretty special extraordinary to watch.


And so Ru announced her safe.


Which of course means Miz Cracker is out the door.


A huge upset, of course.


But that’s the game.

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RuPaul's Drag Race SEASON 10 EPISODE 10 - SOCIAL MEDIA KINGS INTO QUEENS

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
All of it. I mean, the makeover show is always a winner and this season’s was no exception. Easily my favourite episode of this year. So many great moments, so many funny one-liners, so many fabulous looks. This process, year after year, seems to bring out the best qualities in everyone participating. It’s like Queer Eye with the brightness turned up.

FROSTY TIPS
Okay, so finally I get why they’re bitching about Aquaria. She has a real lack of empathy for what the others are going through. That said, I still don’t see it as malicious, more just a lack of judgement. And again, she at least has the emotional intelligence to learn from her what she’s done and apologise when it’s needed. More than can be said for most.

PROUDEST MARY
Asia won the night for me. Her and America served up some fucking Janet Jackson Black Cat meets Madonna Express Yourself dragliciousness. And Asia in Untucked sitting there with her titties lovin’ herself sick in that weave was too much to bear. Werk bitch! I was deceased.

LAZIEST SUSAN
Just when you thought Kameron Michaels was the worst drag name you’ve ever heard: I give you, Kelly Michaels. I mean, seriously.

LIVING FOR…
Did they drive Monet to the airport wearing a leopard onesie, a floral hat, glitter eyes and lashes, and that big old sponge dress to check in? Heaven!

SURPRISE SURPRISE!
Are we still using “proportionised”?

fetch

REALLY REAL
God it’s so tedious when those straight boys have to make a point of saying “my girlfriend” within the first 30 seconds of sitting down, right? We get it, Biff: You’re straight. Now shut up and tuck.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES
Asia: A bitch can’t even get a second chance around here without some salty ass ho tryin’a be making it about her.
Cracker: But I think if there’s anyone that could be an ambassador on what makes drag wonderful it’s me.
Kingsley: I started making videos cos I couldn’t find anyone around me that cared about, like, Britney.
Kelly Michaels to Kameron (on makeup room chatter): … they’re having so much fun, but you get to focus on being … diligent.
Monet (exiting): Cha-ching, motherfuckas! Cha-ching.

SHADIEST LADY
Cracker coming for Eufreka in Untucked was unnecessary. She was a lot more convincing than the Tracey Turnbladd wannabe you turned out.

shadiest

IT AIN’T WHAT YOU WEAR…
Eureka and Eufreka looked like a fucking babooshka doll, popping out from behind. I was just waiting for one of the Little Women of LA to then pop out from behind them.

IT’S HOW YOU WEAR IT
Anyone else ACHE for Ru’s look this week? That sequined/croc frock and the green to yellow eye was gagapalooza. I mean, that is some glamour right here. I don’t say this often but … **clenched teeth** … well done Raven.

ONE MORE THING
Can someone please make a gif of Monet swingin’ her saggy-ass boobs and calling out “Titties! Titties!” ???

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
You’re all gonna come for me, but I did not think this was a deserving win. Sure, I thought Cracker did an amazing job on the looks, but on the runway Cookie was like a footballer in a dress, twerking and stomping. And all that preening just made me think of Jaymes Mansfield. I just did not get this at all. Cracker finally got her win though so good for her.

BYEEEEEEE…
Kameron Michaels vs Monet X Change lip syncing to ‘Good Ass Hell’ by Lizzo:
I’ve never heard this song in my life, but I liked it a lot. I thought Monet would be all over this jam, but she didn’t seem as confident with the lyrics. I did love her leaving the stage moment and then coming back with a split leap slide to the front, but Ru just seemed confused by it.
Comparatively, Kameron lip sync’d THA FUCK outta this joint. She knew every word, every detail, every breath. I still can’t quite get my head around the fact that quiet, considered Kameron is a beast onstage. It’s unnerving to see this mild mannered introvert turn on and own it.

kameron

I mean, there was no question.
Kameron shat the bed, but then lip sync’d for her life when it really mattered.

And I am devastated Monet is gone.
But here we are.

So we have a Top 5

This is turning out to be an unusual year.

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RuPaul's Drag Race SEASON 10 EPISODE 8 - CHER: THE UNAUTHORISED RUSICAL

PROUDEST MARY Just when you thought Monet X Change couldn’t get any gayer she reveals that she did an undergrad in opera performance. Come through Maria Callas! And THEN she reveals her performance this week wil be inspired by the Carol Burnett impersonation of Cher. Did this bitch go on to do her Honours in Faggotry? I live for her!
LAZIEST SUSAN Eureka’s singing in public backstory, with the “daddy beat me for singin’” hogwash. Gimme a break! To her credit she sucked it up and nailed it. But those rehearsals were more painful to watch than Cher’s last comeback.
BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS Asia getting slapped for real in the Mini Challenge proved not only an hilarious accident, but her milking it for all it was worth was delicious. Clutching at her fake wounds and screaming out her revenge: “It’s ‘bout to be Asia O’Hara’s Drag Race. I’m ‘bout to own this whooole building!” Gag!
FROSTY TIPS Cracker’s getting smug. And sorry but I’m not here for it.
LIVING FOR… Ru joked about it, but I am READY for an actual Ethel Merman challenge…!
SURPRISE SURPRISE! Cracker – who so far has showcased an array of camp references – admits she was brought up without any exposure to pop culture. What the WHAT? An hour of TV a WEEK??? I thought she was Jewish – not Amish!
NOTABLE QUOTABLES

 

  • Monet on Vixen’s singing: No I do not see Cher, I see Dennis Rodman guuurl.
  • Asia to Monet: Come on over here and start gettin’ ready cos you need to take your makeup up an octave.
  • Andrew Rannells on Cher: The first time I lip synced to a song it was ‘Gypsies Tramps and Thieves’ in Joe Castello’s basement, and that’s not a euphemism.
  • Billy Eichner (about Asia’s nonplussed performance): I actually left, had a Grindr hookup, and came back.

 

REALLY REAL They keep coming for Aquaria and her arrogance ... why do I feel like I’m watching another show? I get that she’s confident, but no more than any of those other bitches. I liked that when the others came for her earlier in the season she actually listened and tried to adapt accordingly. I like that this week she recognised she needed to do something to get to know the other queens so she made an effort to move on over, get out of her comfort zone, and that takes guts.
SHADIEST LADY Fuck it annoyed me that Todrick, who is always tough on the girls when they can’t get their shit together, gave Kameron a free pass based on being “cute”. The closest he came to constructive criticism appeared to be a flirty one-liner and a comforting hand to the shoulder. He wasn’t quite as constructive with Asia or Eureka. Just goes to show, gays will overlook anything as long as you have a good body.
IT AIN’T WHAT YOU WEAR… Andrew Rannells was a great judge. Handsome, witty, and oh so gay. I’m so in love with him. When he was in the show ‘Girls’ they constantly had him mincing about in just his underwear. Always so wonderful to watch.
IT’S HOW YOU WEAR IT In a week where almost everyone pulled out something extraordinary for the Glitterific runway, Aquaria’s glitter mesh eye covers were next level fuckery. What a look! Which is ironic, given she couldn’t see shit out of them. Totally worth it!
ONE MORE THING The Rusical’s finale – “Cher and Roaches” – was fucking HEAVEN! I died!
YOU’RE A WINNER BABY… Kameron wanted this win. She worked on it, she thought it through, she decided what was gonna work and what wasn’t, she changed her vocal last minute, and she pulled a major look on the runway. This was a shrewd and well played week for this bitch. Good girl!
BYEEEEEEE… The Vixen vs Asia O’Hara lip syncing to ‘Groove Is In The Heart’ by D-Lite: Asia managed to replicate some of the fabulous craziness of D-Lite’s Lady Miss Kier, which gave her an advantage. But this was also the best performance so far from The Vixen, and the two of them in sync for the “1, 2, 3, brrrr…” moment was fucking fabulous.
Ultimately though this just looked like two black chicks dancing to some white nonsense. And, I mean really, that’s exactly what it was. We really haven’t had a jawdropping killer lip sync so far this season, and we really need one right about now.
But then suddenly the clouds cleared, the sun rose, the birds chirped and the deer came to the clearing to see what had occurred… for Ru FINALLY uttered those words we’ve all been yearning to hear: “The Vixen… Sashay away!”
Glorious does not even begin to explain this moment. As far as most satisfying TV moments EVER go, it goes: Number 3 – Joffrey eating the poisoned pie; Number 2 – The Vixen getting ousted from Drag Race; Number 1 – Reggie winning Big Brother.
Bye bitch.
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RuPaul's Drag Race Season 10, Snatch Game Review

PROUDEST MARY
You just KNOW there was real sugar in those straws Eureka was sucking down as she did her Honey Boo Boo gig for Snatch Game. Whatever it was that was in there worked like a charm, so snaps for her. I mean, it’s a pretty dated reference, I honestly thought ‘this joke is gonna fall flat for sure’. But she was prepared, she made it hilarious, and it worked. And that’s how you do Snatch Game.

LAZIEST SUSAN
Monique arguing how creative she is while the 2 large pieces of sellotape holding her outfit onto her body are clearly visible. I mean, what can you even say to this bitch?

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
Bianca’s back! It was great to see her in this kinda role; funny, insightful, and giving bitches really important, well thought out advice. In the past, the critique for Snatch Game has been vague at best. This year, bitches were told ‘No’. And it worked, for the most part. For some, the advice was the difference between a hit and a miss.

FROSTY TIPS
Everyone (except Eureka, interestingly) said they would send The Vixen home. They gave various reasons why, but here’s the T: EVERYBODY HATES YOU, VIXEN! I mean, we can skate around it, or paint it up to look like something else, but how many other ways are there to say YOU’RE A CUNT AND NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!

IT AIN’T WHATCHU WEAR!
Dear lord the mermaid runway was a shocker. A few well planned, more creative concepts came through – I’m looking at you Aquaria, and I thought Kameron did pretty well too – but all up it was a hot mess. And not having them ambulant was a terrible idea, though thankfully it has resulted in some wonderful GIFs.

IT’S HOOOW YOU WEAR IT!
Asia’s trout face. I don’t even know where to begin. Artistically, I thought it was a revelation. But to have to keep it on for the whole episode AND during the angst-ridden seriousness of Untucked made for some surreal and camp looking moments. When she had to say who she thought should go, and she said “The Brichkon”… Fuck I laughed.

LIVING FOR…
I’m here to tell y’all, Audra McDonald talking her edges being snatched had me squealing into nearby throw cushions. This bitch has won more acting Tonys than any other person. She is a renowned Soprano, a new mother, a snappy dresser, and she’s currently killing it on The Good Fight (best show on television atm - available through CBS All Access Sunday nights). I live for her. She doesn’t need this show. She is like a million miles above this show. But here she is because she’s FABULOUS and she LOVES IT. And for her to give Aquaria notes on acting is like Freud being your psychotherapist. I mean, DIE.

SURPRISE SURPRISE!
The Vixen choosing Blue Ivy for Snatch Game was potentially the most amazing, laugh out loud moment of this season. It could have changed everything. But, of course she has no humour, so what could have been next level was simply her doing a baby voice. It was such a miss, and only amplified by the fact that it should have been the biggest hit.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES
Aquaria (as Melania): This is the first time Beyonce’s ever written for herself…
Visage (doing her best ‘Little Mermaid’ on Cracker’s runway): Whaddaya call em…? Tits!
The Vixen (to Ru after the lipsync): That’s one thing I learned from you Ru: That’s unless they’re payin’ yo bills, pay them bitches no mind.
Miz Cracker: Shabbat Shablamb!

REALLY UNREAL
Talking Asia out of doing the druggy element of Whitney Houston not only proved detrimental to her performance, but it was a truly gross indictment to how watered down this show has become. So disappointing. A complete embarrassment.

SHADIEST LADY
How much more of The Vixen do we have to endure? What a hateful, angry, empty narcissist she is presenting to the world. Watching her constantly undermine and bully Eureka goes against any kind of ‘for the people’ liberator she purports to be. To claim how frustrated she is by Eureka’s inability to change, after time and again pulling her “This is me! Don’t poke the bear! I won’t change for no one!” bullshit. What a fucking liberty! I mean, we are in new territory here, this bitch is borderline pathological. She’s a fucking Ryan Murphy real life American Horror Story. And here’s the other thing that bugs me: She’s not even very good! Her runway is average at best; she’s never funny or smart; her lipsyncs are messy and haphazard. I mean, at least with Phi Phi she was bringing something good to the party. Vixen honey, please pack up your bitter bags and get the fuck gone.

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
Aquaria got her second win. Hurrah! Her Melania was all kinds of genius. This kid is smarter and funnier than she gives herself credit for. That line about “this is why my husband doesn’t like China” and the whole intro with the “HELP ME!” Tiffany box. Sublime! And funny as fuck. She OWNED this week, from the library, to the Snatch Game, through to the runway, so it was great to see her rewarded.

BYEEEEEEE…
The Vixen vs Monique Heart lipsyncing to ‘Cut To The Feeling’ by Carly Rae Jepsen:
Monique ripped off the bottom of her mermaid tail – like literally ripped cos she doesn’t know how to put together a velcro tearaway – and little pearls rolled everywhere and I thought ‘Lord it’s on! We’re about to have a genuine Showgirls moment with the slipping onstage nonsense’. But no.

The Vixen, once again, was unfettered and sloppy, rollin’ and jumpin’ and carryin’ on. But, once again, she worked the energy like a beast. AND she knew the words.
Monique didn’t know the words.

I mean, fuck! HOW did this happen? We NEEDED you this week, bitch.
And it begs the question: How long are they given to learn a song? I always thought they’re given a list of potential ‘Lipsync For Your Life’ songs to learn at the start of their season, so that no one is left completely in the dark. If so, then why would Monique be so disastrously unprepared?

This was a very, very disappointing outcome.

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RuPaul's Drag Race SEASON 10 EPISODE 6 - DRAG-CON PANELS

PROUDEST MARY Asia’s Dandelion look was spec-fucking-tacular. Campy and fun and beautiful and strange. Who hears ‘Hat Week’ and then turns it out with some Pollination realness? Asia O’Hara does, that’s who.
LAZIEST SUSAN It takes a special kind of self-delusion to throw together a sequinned lounge-suit last minute and then sit there in Untucked, throwing back Absolut and soda, bitching about how she should’ve won the night. But Monique went there. Then she announced how she’d held back in the Maxi Challenge so her teammates could shine. Oooh bitch!
IT AIN’T WHATCHU WEAR! The Vixen’s runway look was just the worst. All sloppy construction and bad proportions and unfinished details. Ugh. I just can’t with this outfit! And you saw her all episode painting that thing in the background like she was Michel-fuckin’-angelo. If Carson was there he would’ve read her to filth.
IT’S HOOOW YOU WEAR IT! Seeing my future ex-husband Bryce Eilenberg - aka Hot Ginger Pit Crew Guy - getting gradually dragged up throughout the episode was equal parts fascinating and delicious. And made me realise once and for all that yeah, he really is straight.
LIVING FOR… The Body panel - Eureka, Monet & Kameron - who won the Maxi Challenge this week. What a fabulous array of drag, in all shapes and sizes. They were prepared, they were camp, they were charming. Sure, the “proportionising” gig wore a little bit thin, but at least they put thought into a buzzword and how important it is to branding. I’m just praying “proportionising” doesn’t become the new hot meme.
SURPRISE SURPRISE! Cracker’s energy was low and her charm waned in the Maxi Challenge, but it was still a shock to see her in the bottom 3. But I gotta say, like a Chi Chi LaRue orgy scene, the tops earned their place this week and the bottoms clearly earned theirs.
BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS That Sitting On A Secret Mini Challenge was hilarious, getting queens to sit on a fax machine and an eggplant and a fucking porkchop. Could this just be a whole show: Blindfolded celebrities sit on top of random items? Latrice could host.
FROSTY TIPS Team Hair – Miz Cracker, Blair & The Vixen – did a pretty bad job. They went and did that thing Ru specifically warned them not to, ie. make it joyous and don’t get too technical. For me it felt as though it was edited it to look much worse than it was. I mean, WHY would Ross and Ru be side-eyeing over some harmless queeny shade like it was the worst thing ever? It wasn’t even that vicious. That said, their group was the least engaging, no question.
NOTABLE QUOTABLES

 

  • Monet on Cracker: The Susan Lucci of season 10…
  • Monet: Usher is out here givin’ people the drip-drip, you gotta be careful!
  • Monique: I came to this competition with glitter and Jesus! And bitch I’m makin’ it work. Okay?
  • (Asia takes an eyelash off) Visage under her breath: C’mon Patti LaBelle!
  • I swear at one stage during the panel Asia quoted Sally Field from Steel Magnolias without even realizing (“Never be afraid to try a new look…”).

 

SHADIEST LADY Kumail Nanjiani is so hot, so funny and so clever. If you don’t follow him on Twitter you should do so immediately. And his commentary throughout the runway was hysterical. So much fun to hear a camp straight Indian dude giving runway shade. Werk bitch!
WAIT. WHAT? Blair’s moment was an honest-to-god heartbreaker, especially as she introduced the story with, “I urge to find daintiness because I feel dirty sometimes,” before revealing she’d been the victim of a college party rape. Whoa Nelly! Did anyone else just hear the “dun-dun” from Law & Order: SVU? Jokes aside, it was such a shock and at the same time made perfect sense, in so much as her concealing the pain by trying to make everything around her happy and beautiful. Just as telling was watching The Vixen respond to Blair’s revelation, cos it was like she finally understood Blair a little more too. The whole thing was reiterated in Untucked, and it was fabulous to see Vixen talk up Blair and put her passion and tenacity into something positive. I think I get this bitch a bit more now.
REALLY REAL Monet’s story about not being out to her parents and still lying to them about who she is and what she does was fascinating. She’s so steeped in the drag world, she’s often referred to by the others as one of NY’s funniest queens, she talks and acts and prances like a drag queen. It’d be hard to imagine those close to her not realising. And I wonder, on some level, if it explains why she’s hasn’t quite been ‘next level’ in this competition yet.
YOU’RE A WINNER BABY… So happy to see Monet in the top 3. You could feel the relief dripping off her like sweat and the confidence finally coming back. Can I get a amen up in here?
But of course it was Eureka’s night, getting her second win for this season. And y’know what? – she earned this one even more than last week. I’m just gonna put it out there guys: could this be Eureka’s year?
BYEEEEEEE… The Vixen X Blair St Clair lipsyncing to ‘I’m Coming Out’ by Diana Ross: The Vixen was working hard, but it was still a little basic and unmeasured for my liking. She had a shoe dangling off and that hat dress was all over the place. She did a forward roll like it was Yr 7 gym class and someone actually cheered. FOR A FORWARD ROLL! BUT what she did bring was sass and energy, which Blair sadly didn’t have in her. And where Blair sold it as indignant, The Vixen brought joy, and that’s what ‘I’m Coming Out’ is really all about.
So it was Blair St Clair who sashayed away. Watching Blair leave at the end of Untucked, knowing what he’s endured, with no makeup on his little kid face, was a genuinely heartbreaking moment.
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RuPaul's Drag Race SEASON 10 EPISODE 4 - THE LAST BALL ON EARTH

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
Well, the show was pretty much ALL runway, s0 it’d be hard not to concede that it made up this week’s highlights. And while there was a lot of questionable couture (Vixen’s extended legwarmers?) the ones that stood out were GAG-o-rama! I ached for Miz Cracker’s baby pink Barbie Army look, that frosted lip and shimmer cheek. And her Mars look, equal parts camp and creativity, was everything. Let’s talk about Kameron giving us Real Housewives of Alaskan Summer in the first runway, then Falcon Crest goes to Miami for her second look. But her Mars outfit was one of my favourites with the green lip, and how she incorporated her bee tattoo into the design. Brava!

blondehighlights

FROSTY TIPS
How intense is this Untucked gig? Seems The Vixen does not like to back down, and her big reactions just overshadow whatever the actual catalyst was. In this case, Eureka calling Vixen and Monique “crafty”: was it an innocent reference to their art, or a read on their ability to get through unscathed? The response from both was hard to get a handle on, but when Eureka saw it as “negative” it escalated faster than those first cocktails were finished. Clearly Eureka was hankering to get on The Vixen’s last nerve, and lord I was nervous when they got up in each other’s space and it looked like we might get an old fashioned drag queen punch up with some Absolut getting thrown in bitches faces.

PROUDEST MARY
Three snaps up for Monet’s lip sync. I mean, she was shook by the judge’s critiques, but she came back with some next level werk right there. And the pièce de résistance with that non-death drop fake-out was genius. That, ladies, is how it’s done!

LAZIEST SUSAN
Asia, Aquaria, The Vixen, Monet, Dusty Ray, Monique – I’m calling all of them out for getting on that runway and NOT HAVING TITTIES! What the actual fuck? And none of the judges are reading them for it. I’ve had it. OFFICIALY! Give me some tig ole biddies oozing out of plunging necklines and no more shit taped to your flat man-chest!

NOTABLE QUOTABLES
- Monique interrupting Mayhem: Not to cut you off… but to cut you off…
- Eureka on her Rihanna photo bomb: I’m gonna be pointing at her puss-wha-cha!
- Eureka in the strongest southern accent ever: What acceeeeeent?
- Miz Cracker on her runway look: I am workin’ this merkin!
- Mayhem to Eureka re The Vixen: Maybe she’s someone that you can’t fucks with.
- Monique any time she addresses “America”. JUST KILLS ME!

SHADIEST LADY
Miz Cracker bringing up Sugar Daddy rumours to Aquaria was some of the shaaaaadiest riggory I’ve ever seen up in here. And delivered in the most innocent, backhanded way. Bitch should get the GLAAD Award for that shadiness. Props to Aquaria for brushing it off and not losing focus. Is it just me, or is anyone else warming to Aquaria…?

WAIT. WHAT?
Monet’s “little history lesson” about English accents being adapted from the American. Without a hint of irony: “Y’know, the people in England they sounded like us, aka Americans. Then they got the accent when they went there. People think it’s the other way round…” Ummm, what? Everyone’s looking at each other like ‘that can’t be right…’ until Monique pipes up and says, “That’s. FALSE. AMERICA!” Absolute GOLD!

REALLY REAL
Asia taking on the role as the Black Martha Stewart (or, as Monet clocked it, “Blartha”) was brilliant, and seeing that drag mother side coming out was really sweet. Later on the runway, when she talked about how her own work may have suffered due to her helping everyone out, it was a beautiful thing to see everyone say, “Yeah she did”, instead of just throwing her under the bus (I’m looking at YOU BEBE ZAHARA BENET!). Judges told her she’s got to look after herself first, and I get that … but at the same time it takes away from what was genuine camaraderie. Sometimes I like seeing these queens help each other out instead of rip one another apart.

LIVING FOR…
Blair St Claire. She got more air time, got to show more of herself, and what we saw was fabulous. I gotta say, she’s now my favourite in this competition. Her Alaskan Winter look was some Old Hollywood poolside glamour, and then her Miami Summer look gave me all sorts of Ann-Margret realness. And that Mars look was like Melanie Griffiths does Barbarella. Even her Beyonce photo bomb was on point. All the references were there. I can’t even with this queen!

SURPRISE SURPRISE!
The Photo Bomb Mini Challenge was camp, with some clearly working better than others. Aquaria won with the Kim/Kanye shot, which for me wasn’t that great. I thought Kameron Michaels’ “I’m With Stupid” sign with the Trumps was glorious. And busted up Monique feeling up Jonai bulge was inspired.

oops

IT AIN’T WHATCHU WEAR!
Okay, so we need to talk about RuPaul’s outfit, with the face completely covered in fabric, bold red Lepore lips, and that visor covering up half her face. It was all very Philip Salon goes to Floriade. It was a great look, but my one critique is the Sia mistake: which is, if we can’t see your eyes then we can’t read your intent. Bring back … my eyes!

IT’S HOOOW YOU WEAR IT!
Tisha Campbell Martin was one of the original chorus girls in the film version of Little Shop of Horrors, and if you don’t know what that is then shame on you. But someone tell her stylist that titties are supposed to meet in the middle. She’s here for drag, not open-heart surgery.

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
Nice to see Aquaria get up and win, particularly after the savaging she went through last week. I personally didn’t think she was the best, and frankly I do not understand how Blair was only safe and not in the top this week. But look, Aquaria put in the work and I’m happy to see her get a win.

BYEEEEEEE…
Dusty Ray Bottoms vs Monet X Change lipsyncing to ‘Pound The Alarm’ by Nicki Minaj:
As mentioned previously, Monet was all kinds of everything. She worked all the quirks, not just with the words, but with the whole vibe of the track. Bitch put on a show, good and proper, and made it gagworthy. And while Dusty gave a lot too, it was clear she was never gonna match what Monique had here.

So sadly we find Dusty Ray on the bottom and out the door.

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Season 10, Episode 3 - Tap that App.

PROUDEST MARY
Monet and the sponge dress. She is loving herself sick over that sponge dress. For reals though. Does she just carry those bits of sponge around with her, tucked under her wig or something?

LAZIEST SUSAN
Oh no - is Mayhem a look queen only? I thought she had more moxey and pizzazz, but in the App challenge she was all “I dunno…” and they walked all over her. Maybe it was a one-off, maybe she’ll learn from it. Her comments in Untucked seemed to suggest so. Step that pussy UP gurl.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES
- Visage on Yuhua’s runway: The look was just like hairy Dalmatian with HPV.
- Monique: Asia isn’t feeling the concept. She like ‘guuurl’, and when another drag queen goes ‘guuurl’ you know it ain’t good…
- Monique (again): America, let the facts be the facts: The Vixen handed Aquaria her ass in a gift bag. Gift wrapped. There you go. Merry Christmas.
- Monique (AGAIN) on Mayhem’s apathy: Girl you better deliver cos if I’m in the bottom two because of you I’m cuttin’ up all your wigs. All of ‘em.
- Monique (AGAAAAIN!) in Untucked: I just hope some bitches … better not throw me under the bus cos they gettin’ an UNGODLY phone call. And I’m gonna record it and then I’m gonna put the bitch on YouTube.
- The entire cast not aware yet the internet sensation that has evolved: Vanjiiiie… Vanjiiie… Vanjiiiie….

BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS
All that Fresh Off The Bus Drag stuff was so much fun!
The Vixen being a dog, barking how good the chocolate is. Hysterical!
Blair St Clair feverishly tapping with those Raquel Welsh pigtails and Peter Pan collar. Everything!
And Monet dancing an Irish jig. I fucking LIVE.
But I lost my shit over Miz Cracker saying “I taste like your best afternoon… April 24th”. For those that don’t know, this is an obscure Streisand reference - look it up! - and now I’m more obsessed with Cracker than ever.

FROSTY TIPS
Well, I did ask for more race stuff… **awkward laugh**
I’m not gonna say too much here, as I’m sure it’ll be hotly debated within the group, but my heart kinda broke for Aquaria. Yeah she’s made her own bed, but fuck – she had Dusty come for her, Monique come for her, Cracker sort of come for her, and of course The Vixen come for her, all at once, and then when it finally broke her she had to deal with the most unsympathetic, dismissive response – how much does bitch have to take?

SHADIEST LADY
Yuhua. Just everything Yuhua.
She’s there suggesting new names for the Madam Buttrface app, not even realising it’s in fact the funniest app name of the three.
She had to be told how to do ugly drag, and she still didn’t get it..
She’s about as funny as a malignancy, but gets all shitty and defensive when her teammates try to gently critique her.
THEN THE BITCH gets on the runway and claims she wanted to put on an ugly nose but “my teammates said no, so I didn’t put it on…”
Ummm that’s a fucking bold-faced lie. THAT’S FAKE FUCKING NEWS! You are the Cambridge Analytica quiz of this season.
Why is there even a lip sync this week? Just send this bitch home?

WAIT. WHAT?
Blair St Clair coming out as a … as a … as a CHRISTIAN. **sob**
It’s like when Beyonce thanks god at the Grammys where she’s just been awarded for the song she wrote about giving blowjobs. I just … I don’t get it.

REALLY REAL
Dusty’s story, talking about the dysfunctional relationship with his parents, and getting exorcised and made to attend fucking pray the gay away therapy. This sort of story never fails to upset me. It’s atrocious. People are the worst. This queen is amazing! His parents should thank their stupid god that they have this great, creative, funny, wonderful talent, and not some dumb Christian cookie-cutter who believes god gives out awards for songs about blowjobs.
Of course, now he has a beautiful fiancé and a fabulous road ahead. Fuck off anti-gays. You’re time is so over. As Latrice would say, EAT IT.

LIVING FOR…
That ginger Pit Crew guy… I mean, I just can’t cope!
He’s sitting there in his tighty dayglo undies, all laid back and sexy like whatever bitch I got time, and you guys I seriously haven’t had sex in like FOR. EVER. and something’s just GOT TO GIVE OKAY???? **passes out**

SURPRISE SURPRISE!
Courtney Love needed subtitles. I couldn’t understand a single word. Did she have a stroke? Seriously. Was that Bell’s Palsy? She sounded like those clips of Judy Garland drunk on a late night talkshows in the 60s.

YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
Ohmygod did y’all see Eureka’s facecrack when Asia won the week? Hahaha.
Asia did well in the Maxi, and that Tweety Bird look for the Feather runway was INSPIRED. Camp, comical, glamorous, fabulous. DIE! She earned her win this week.
That said, I begged for Monique this week. The detail in her feather cape, all that white and gold, so beautifully constructed. She looked like some kind of mythical creature come to life. And all of her cutaways were hysterical, and her self-directing wearing those big stupid beanbag titties… I was floored!

BYEEEEEEE…
Mayhem vs Yuhua lipsyncing to ‘Celebrity Skin’ by Hole:
What a GREAT track for a drag number!
Yuhua looked out of place – like Britney covering I Love Rock’n’Roll; no you don’t! – while Mayhem gave it attitude and anger. In the end Mayhem was tearing off her feathers, malting all over the runway, and it was ART. Unleash!

So Yuhua went home.
Good.

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