Those season 1 queens coming back for the 10 year milestone, although the exclusion of Tammie Brown was kinda heartbreaking. Porkchop looked fabulous. Why don’t I remember Jade? And why isn’t Ongina a superstar?
With all the memes going round, how hilarious was it when Ru asked Asia about her dead parents!
IT AIN’T WHAT YOU WEAR…
I did not like Cracker’s outfit at all. All the black and dark and what? And I didn’t get the fake tear on the runway. It was totally in contrast to what she tried to present on the show. Was it a Jewish thing? Was she in mourning? I don’t get it.
IT’S HOW YOU WEAR IT
It’s ALL ABOUT EVE! Sasha Velour’s outfit was of biblical proportions. Now THAT’s a queen! Fuck I love her. And it made me realise how sadly lacking season 10 was in that weird and wonderful subversiveness. Where were the Sashas this year? Where were the spooky Sharons? Where were the Alaskas dressed as Lady Bunny?
Eureka’s mother tho...
So annoying to have Gus Kenworthy reading out a question. Fuck him. Fuck his dumb Olympics. Fuck his straight-acting man posse. Fuck his butch queen beardedness and his oversized watch and fucking corporate sponsor baseball cap. Fuck him! He’s not the solution; he’s part of the fucking problem.
I live for the good, old-fashioned diva anthem Lip Sync for the Crown. It’s old school and it matters. I’m not even mad about the seemingly unending outfit reveals. Whether it’s subtle (Kameron slipping off her kimono) or garish (Aquaria dressed as a Hershey’s Kiss) for me it still works.
There’s just no overstating the epic, epic fail of Asia’s butterfly blunder. I mean, we’ve all seen it. I’ve watched it twice now. It’s the worst misstep I think I’ve ever seen on the show ever. And so perfectly Asia. While Kameron is working the lyric and the vibe and the hairography of the track, poor Asia is blowing on her wrist, watching the crown slip through her fingers, and thanking god she didn’t go with her original idea of live doves.
Kameron’s white trash Tennessee mother. I live! And you just know that bitch was a metal groupie back in the day, riding the Motley Crue tour bus and getting Aerosmith tattoos. Fun fact: Steve Tyler is constantly referenced on groupie websites as having a massive cock and being incredible in bed.
Y’all know I love me some Eureka, but what was she doing there in that final lip sync? That front high kick she kept giving me was just a distraction from the fabulousness that was happening behind her. Uh-uh. No.
A FEW MORE LAST THINGS…
- Did y’all clock Oprah’s big ole man hands? Bitch must give a hateful backhand.
- Dame Judi Dench. Oh, werk bitch.
- Mariah’s “snacks” intro. This queen is the fucking living end. Get her back for an All Stars.
- That ‘Lip Sync Eleganza Extravaganza’ with all the Ru songs blended together was great. And was it just me, or did anyone else think what an amazing idea it’d be to have a sitcom starring Vanjie and Porkchop???
- How fabulous for Monet to get Miss Congeniality. So deserving. And how horrible to have to see Valentina again. I’ve never wanted more to glass a queen in her simpering, fake-smile face.
- And speaking of Miss Congeniality, what’s the t with the online vote being null and void? Anyone got the Reddit goss?
- I don’t know if you know this about me ... but I **ACHE** for Bang Bang. It’s my fucking JAM. “B -t’tha- A -t’tha- N -t’tha- G -t’tha...!”
YOU’RE A WINNER BABY…
I worked out Aquaria was born 2 years after If was released. Not only did she know those lyrics, she knew the fucking video choreography and she turn’t that shit OUT. I was beside myself. Good girl! And where did she pull that glitter gun from during Bang Bang? – her twat??? With that cape and the stars she looked like a drag superhero.
I’m thrilled she won. All through that finale she was gorgeous, poised, confident, fun. That masquerade eye mask was all the fabulousnesses. And she won that final lip sync fair and square. Bitch is 22 years old! Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent; soak it up, bitches!