PROUDEST MARY Just when you thought Monet X Change couldn’t get any gayer she reveals that she did an undergrad in opera performance. Come through Maria Callas! And THEN she reveals her performance this week wil be inspired by the Carol Burnett impersonation of Cher. Did this bitch go on to do her Honours in Faggotry? I live for her!
LAZIEST SUSAN Eureka’s singing in public backstory, with the “daddy beat me for singin’” hogwash. Gimme a break! To her credit she sucked it up and nailed it. But those rehearsals were more painful to watch than Cher’s last comeback.
BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS Asia getting slapped for real in the Mini Challenge proved not only an hilarious accident, but her milking it for all it was worth was delicious. Clutching at her fake wounds and screaming out her revenge: “It’s ‘bout to be Asia O’Hara’s Drag Race. I’m ‘bout to own this whooole building!” Gag!
FROSTY TIPS Cracker’s getting smug. And sorry but I’m not here for it.
LIVING FOR… Ru joked about it, but I am READY for an actual Ethel Merman challenge…!
SURPRISE SURPRISE! Cracker – who so far has showcased an array of camp references – admits she was brought up without any exposure to pop culture. What the WHAT? An hour of TV a WEEK??? I thought she was Jewish – not Amish!
Monet on Vixen’s singing: No I do not see Cher, I see Dennis Rodman guuurl.
Asia to Monet: Come on over here and start gettin’ ready cos you need to take your makeup up an octave.
Andrew Rannells on Cher: The first time I lip synced to a song it was ‘Gypsies Tramps and Thieves’ in Joe Castello’s basement, and that’s not a euphemism.
Billy Eichner (about Asia’s nonplussed performance): I actually left, had a Grindr hookup, and came back.
REALLY REAL They keep coming for Aquaria and her arrogance ... why do I feel like I’m watching another show? I get that she’s confident, but no more than any of those other bitches. I liked that when the others came for her earlier in the season she actually listened and tried to adapt accordingly. I like that this week she recognised she needed to do something to get to know the other queens so she made an effort to move on over, get out of her comfort zone, and that takes guts.
SHADIEST LADY Fuck it annoyed me that Todrick, who is always tough on the girls when they can’t get their shit together, gave Kameron a free pass based on being “cute”. The closest he came to constructive criticism appeared to be a flirty one-liner and a comforting hand to the shoulder. He wasn’t quite as constructive with Asia or Eureka. Just goes to show, gays will overlook anything as long as you have a good body.
IT AIN’T WHAT YOU WEAR… Andrew Rannells was a great judge. Handsome, witty, and oh so gay. I’m so in love with him. When he was in the show ‘Girls’ they constantly had him mincing about in just his underwear. Always so wonderful to watch.
IT’S HOW YOU WEAR IT In a week where almost everyone pulled out something extraordinary for the Glitterific runway, Aquaria’s glitter mesh eye covers were next level fuckery. What a look! Which is ironic, given she couldn’t see shit out of them. Totally worth it!
ONE MORE THING The Rusical’s finale – “Cher and Roaches” – was fucking HEAVEN! I died!
YOU’RE A WINNER BABY… Kameron wanted this win. She worked on it, she thought it through, she decided what was gonna work and what wasn’t, she changed her vocal last minute, and she pulled a major look on the runway. This was a shrewd and well played week for this bitch. Good girl!
BYEEEEEEE… The Vixen vs Asia O’Hara lip syncing to ‘Groove Is In The Heart’ by D-Lite: Asia managed to replicate some of the fabulous craziness of D-Lite’s Lady Miss Kier, which gave her an advantage. But this was also the best performance so far from The Vixen, and the two of them in sync for the “1, 2, 3, brrrr…” moment was fucking fabulous.
Ultimately though this just looked like two black chicks dancing to some white nonsense. And, I mean really, that’s exactly what it was. We really haven’t had a jawdropping killer lip sync so far this season, and we really need one right about now.
But then suddenly the clouds cleared, the sun rose, the birds chirped and the deer came to the clearing to see what had occurred… for Ru FINALLY uttered those words we’ve all been yearning to hear: “The Vixen… Sashay away!”
Glorious does not even begin to explain this moment. As far as most satisfying TV moments EVER go, it goes: Number 3 – Joffrey eating the poisoned pie; Number 2 – The Vixen getting ousted from Drag Race; Number 1 – Reggie winning Big Brother.
Tony is one of the most prolific pop culture writers on the planet - his unique and humorous take on all things camp, fierce and fabulous leave us wanting more - his debut articles for Guidetogay.com started with Season 10 of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Tony lives in Melbourne Australia and is partial to a ginger-headed man.