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londonliving 

I’ve been naughty… I haven’t written in a while and I need a slap on the (limp) wrist. But I promise there is a very good reason I’ve been neglecting my beloved DTTT… #londonliving. Yep, say it out loud, “hash tag London living”.

 

It’s the phrase I’ve coined to explain to people they way we live in London: the things we do, the people we meet, the new restaurants we line up to go to, the exhibitions we scramble to get tickets for, the festivals we pack in to, the wine we drink and pay too much for, the armpits we’re rammed into during the morning Tube ride, the gutters of Brick Lane Markets we sit in to people watch & drink beer when it’s sunny, the slippery walk down Carnaby street when the snow turns to sludge on the ground… The 17 times you fall in love on the Tube each day.

 

I am absolutely loving life in London. Whoever says this quirky old bitch of a city isn’t cool has a serious case of social retardation. Every day is what the Madame of the Urban Family, April Gibbs, calls a ‘pinch moment’; getting off the Tube at Oxford Circus of a morning and walking down Carnaby Street (!!!) to the office in Golden Square in Soho is pretty damn cool even if the streets are lined with garbage bags that wreak of lady bin juice and cab drivers that hurl abuse at you for walking across the street (at a pedestrian crossing!)

 

Pinch moments are a daily occurrence – even now as I’m typing in my lounge room and as I peer out the window I can see the Gherkin, just little things that remind you that you live in the coolest city on Earth – #londonliving

 

I’m living in East London – in Bethnal Green to be specific – with Rohan and Eddie. Now Bethnal Green is quite an up and coming area, pretty cool and close to Shoreditch, Spitalfields and Brick Lane. It’s a lovely mix of hipsters, gays, Muslims and Indians, all co-existing in a harmonious ballet of life. Just don’t get in those bitches way on a Sunday afternoon in the Tesco on Bethnal Green Road because they and their 13 children will run you down and not look back to see if you’re OK… Also don’t get in their way on the number 8 bus on the way down Bethy G road – you’ll regret it.

 

We’ve moved into a lovely little apartment we’ve aptly christened Le Chateau des Hommes (The House of the Men). Three Sydney homos living together in East London, this is not a cliché, this is #londonliving

 

Another part of #londonliving I especially love is being reminded on a daily basis how casually racist I am. This is not actually true, but Brits (I’ll call them Brits because it’s considered racist to call them Poms. Ironic? Where’s Alanis when you need her?!) are hyper-sensitive when it comes to anything to do with race. For example, I announced to the office that I was going about for a sambo (a sandwich) and asked anyone if they wanted anything while I was out? Well if looks could kill I would have 40 sets of daggers in my chest then and there. What did I do, what did I say?! I wasn’t even hung over… Apparently ‘sambo’ is an old term to describe an impoverished Indian man/boy. Now how the fuck would I know that? It’s not even an Aussie word! Anywho, lesson learned…

 

Since moving to London I haven’t quite found Mr. Right and believe me, I’ve auditioned LOTS! There was one guy. Poor thing. Looked like a young Alex Dimitriades until he opened his mouth and flashed a set of chompers that belonged in the Natural History Museum. Such a shame – he had a tight little rig and a package to make Jeff Stryker envious, but those two things alone do not maketh love. High-octane cosmetic dental surgery couldn’t have saved that relationship, but Christ he needed it. He was also a broke student and couldn’t do the things around London that I wanted to do. Key learning: never date a student. Unless they are a medical student… or a law student… or they go to Oxford/Cambridge… I’ll never learn.

 

The other awesome part about living in London is obvs the travel. But unless you work in finance you probs can’t afford to travel abroad every weekend. Though, it’s true, when you do it’s much easier and cheaper than it is from Australia. I went to Berlin for Easter and have some FETCH trips planned but you do need to be organized, willing to sacrifice slightly and be quite savvy. Examp: I’m going to Budapest & Prague in September and Italy in October but I’ll need to book those when I get paid next and after I buy those plane tickets I’ll probs be skint for the rest of the month… But that’s where all the cool free shit in London comes in – i.e. sitting in a gutter in Brick drinking beer, watching hipsters go by and judging them.

 

So much other fetch shiz coming up – next weekend is London Pride, so I’ll be there doing the presenting thing trying to get interviews to Katherine Ellis, A*M*E and other such high profile peeps I can stalk down.

 

Eddie is also going traveling for two and a half months so Damo will be taking up residency in the Chateau while he’s on his career break from Sydney. Lots of other fetch activities coming up and I promise to keep you all updated. Especially if it’s the last Sunday of the month and all I have for entertainment is the sordid combination of Grindr, Scruff and writing DTTT.

 

They say you move to London for the lifestyle and not the pay cheque… #londonliving is testament to that. 43 pence in my bank account and don’t get paid till Thursday?! At least I’ve got a topped up Oyster card, a pre-purchased ticket to the new Kim Cattrall play at the Old Vic on Tuesday night and a fridge full of food… Gotta love hash tag London living!

 

Tx