Everyone is talking about marriage rights, but I want to talk about another marriage issue – the gay phenomenon of falling for someone who’s already married* to the opposite sex.
I just discovered than my girlfriend’s cousin bats for our team. I’ve know Miss Polly for 3 years and it never crossed my mind that she was gay. My gaydar is clearly in need of a major upgrade.
Well here’s the thing… she is sort of consciously working at flying under the radar. You see, Miss Polly has a fetish for chasing married women and its all part of her MO. So, I guess that’s why she has never brought a girlfriend to family gatherings... they are at home with hubby!
Miss Polly is not alone. Chasing the married ladies is a key part of the lesbian play book. I’ve played on both sides of this fence. I’ve licked my wounds. Does the existence of this behaviour make us as delusional as Lindsay Lohan?
Why do so many lesbians chase unattainable straight women? Perhaps it’s a way of avoiding commitment - an imaginary “get out of jail free” card in the back pocket or our skinny black jeans. Or is this syndrome a little more complex?
Look at the world’s number one pop dykon, P!nk. She’s married but I am sure 90% of lesbians have a crush on her and wishfully dream that they can take her away from her man and baby… and yes, she certainly plays up to that concept.
These relationships rarely succeed. Fraught with an inevitable high level of emotional turmoil, why do we put ourselves though such a dangerous mine field for love? Lesbians who habitually chase married skirt must be crazy to set themselves up to be “unlucky in love” - but there must be more, something positive and emotionally satisfying.
Many lesbians talk about the achievement of a CONVERSION. She shoots. She scores! Bring another player onto the team, bolster the sisterhood. It’s flaunted as a badge of pride on the recruiter’s chest, validating their own lesbian status and proving their place as a productive member of the team.
The CONQUEST is primal driver. Why do adventurers risk their lives to climb mountains where no man has gone before? The CONQUEST is primal driver. Why do adventurers risk their lives to climb mountains where no man has gone before? So too will lesbians risk their hearts to chase a woman untouched by Sappho hands. You’re the predator, a hunter on a safari, in pursuit of exotic prey. A sexual quest. Feeling the thief’s thrill of taking what so clearly belongs to “another”.
They say VARIETY is the spice of life. It’s good for our health and wealth investment strategies. But is it good for our heart? No matter how large the city is you live in, the lesbian dating pool can shrink to the size of a bathtub. Forget six degrees of separation, sometimes you struggle to get one degree from an ex. You stare at the pool through jaded eyes - lamenting that it’s just too polluted for safe romantic skinny dipping.
Don’t you love the EXCITEMENT of exploring something forbidden? How heady is the flirting and sexual tension of doing what shouldn’t be done? You’re a pair of secret agents. Love spies sneaking around with your secret. Excitement makes you feel special, so it’s no wonder both straight and gay use this as an explanation for their taboo dalliance with the elsewhere betrothed.
Maybe, baby, it’s a cat and mouse POWER play? The married girl is your toy. You’re the ultimate pussy, teasing your quarry to demonstrating your nimble sexual prowess. Seeking enjoyment until you’re bored then tossing her aside. She goes back into her marital box freeing your paws for the next glittering object that catches your eye.
Perchance there is the complete ACCIDENT. The cute bestie that you couldn’t help but get a crush on. One too many bottles of champagnes with the hot girl at work. Not planned. Opps… I did it again! Who knows why any of us do anything when it comes to love?
The truth is, even though we know the odds, too many of us lesbians find ourselves playing Rihanna’s Te Amo video over in our head and loving every sexy unrequited moment of the forbidden love affair with the married gal. We can’t help but make life a little more difficult and dramatic. The last thing we want to hear when we are head over heals is “I feel love but don’t feel it that way”.
* In using the term “Married”, I mean from the Australian Government’s archaic perspective where marriage is only an act between a man and a woman.